Off my game.

Caution. This may turn in to a rant/rambling post with less than the usual amount of actual information. Which is minimal at best. You've been warned.

I generally never feel this way but I 100% feel like I should have cancelled today's workout. I'm stressed out, I feel like I can't focus and I felt like I wasted my time and Darin's. I can't change any of the things I'm super anxious about right now. Like I've gained 4lbs and I know it's the medicine but I feel like eating 392739 times a day isn't helping the matter but I'm not eating brownies all the live long day. It's 98% good food. Like bananas and peanut butter and Greek yogurt and chicken and things of that nature. I'm drinking like a gallon of water a day and I'm working out every single day. I'm doing everything right and I'm super frustrated. I'm considering asking Darin to hold on to my scale until at least I've recovered from surgery so I'll stop spending a good chunk of my morning upset over something my rational mind knows isn't a permanent thing. It sounds like a semi-okay idea now but I'm also attached to it. My hip hurts from running on Saturday and I'm over that whole situation. All I wanted to do was run for a bit and 2 days later my hip still hurts. Over it.

Moving on. Today was an ass kicker and I'm exhausted even more so than normal. I almost threw up, and the I almost said "I quit" about halfway through the second round of treadmill walking, 45 degree pulls, cleans and presses and goblet squats but good news is, I didn't. I wanted to, and honestly I'm usually really not like that. I'm generally stubborn enough that I get shit done no matter what. And if you tell me not to do something I will most likely die trying. I'm just so off my game this week. I'm hoping that a trip to the Y tomorrow sans my sister and time constraints will at least be somewhat fun for me. I went on Saturday and put up 30s on the incline press for 3 sets of 10. Which for some of you reading this may be like me saying I used 5s but that's good for me. I plan on doing everything I love tomorrow and some cardio. I saw an e-card that said "I drink while I do cardio. I call it Bacardio" and yes I laughed for a minute at that one.

Anyways. If you've encountered me and I've not been the treat I normally am, I apologize. I'm working out early Friday morning because obviously I'm nuts buuuut being super exhausted will also help me sleep with the anesthesia. It's unlikely I will blog after Friday mornings session. So. This could or could not be the last for a while. We'll see how I feel Wednesday. And with that, I'm out.
:)