so sometimes I don't blog for a hot second, because life.
so much excitement I don't know where to begin. I got a new car, that's the most important part. a 2014 toyota corolla sport. Black on black and I hate the way new cars smell. Let's all just take a second and thank the heavens that I got a car with AC before the summer was over. Whew.
I'm considering trying intermittent fasting, but I'm not really sure about it. I've read mixed reviews and talked to a few people. I think the majority of the issues that I read about it came from people who were already relatively lean. aka not me. For those of you who don't know (this is my synopsis of I.F.) you pretty much fast for anywhere from 12-24 hours at a time (obviously if you fast 24 hours you don't do it multiple days in a row otherwise what you're doing is called anorexia, not fasting) and then you have a feeding window. I have some questions because some of the research I read was talking about the feeding window being post workout and well, post workout from me varies from 6pm to sometimes 9pm and I'm not trying to be awake at midnight eating God only knows what. If I do try it, I will likely pump the brakes and start with maybe a 12 hour fast first. If you know me at all, once I get an idea I am ALL IN, and I'm incredibly impatient as we've discussed before. But Nessie I thought you were lovin' life on weight watchers? well, I was/am...but let me be clear. I am so sick of counting points. SO. SICK. OF. IT. If I try fasting, I'm not planning on eating all the food during whatever window of time, I'm planning on being smart. I plan on that daily but sometimes things happen. Like a couple weeks ago I wore a dress and cardigan combo to work, and when I got in my car I forgot to take my cardigan off. I was hot, so I decided to take it off at the next red light I came too, well, it took me 3 stops to get it off because I didn't take my seat belt off. I was angry about that, and threw the cardigan more forcefully than I probably should have, forgetting my passenger window was down... and I think we all know where this is going. My precious tiffany blue cardigan went straight out the window. Literally. I laughed out loud and just thought "this is my life." I say that to say this, I'm trying to be more careful and less extreme. I've lost 14 pounds in about 7 weeks-ish, hell I have a hard time keeping tabs on anything anymore. I still stand by my statement I have adult ADD. Speaking of ADD, if I don't do some damn cardio, ANY CARDIO, I need someone to come punch me in the liver. Please and thank you.
I booked my flight to Pittsburgh! I'm really, really scared to death about flying. I go from Asheville to Atlanta to Pittsburgh and I am terrified that I'm going to get to Atlanta and not want to get on the flight to Pittsburgh. I HATE heights, so I got isle seats every time and am hoping I will not be the crazy bitch on the plane crying before it even takes off. Let's be honest, I will probably cry on the way to the airport. Crying is what I do when I'm happy, scared, sad, etc. I also wasn't aware that pilots can't really see where they're going. Let me hit you with some cold hard facts. I am not brave, in fact, I almost cried driving to Nashville this weekend. The state of Tennessee thinks doing roadwork on every third mile of 40 west is the best plan of action, and I was stuck on a bridge, a sketchy one no less, that was down to 1 lane on each side and I had to sit in the middle of it while this tractor-trailer pulling another tractor trailer merges over and the bridge was shaking. I could feel it, and my only thought was "I hope the impact from my car hitting the water when this collapses is enough to kill me because I really can't swim" and drowning is in my top 5 worst ways to go, only after being kidnapped, water boarded, lit on fire or shanked in prison. Thankfully, as we all know because I'm here blogging, I survived the great bridge debacle of 2014. I kinda wish I had that on tape, but I couldn't share it because the language I was using was vulgar at best.
Anyways, that's really what's up in the world-o-nessie at the moment. New cars, new diets, same old snark. I also stand by my statement to know me is to love me :)
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
chasing barbells instead of bikinis.
before anyone gets butthurt, let me just say that I'm very much aware that barbells and bikinis are not mutually exclusive. I don't think Dana Lin Bailey, Nicole Wilkins or Amanda Latona got jacked on bodyweight exercises. I'm not retarded.
If you've known me for any amount of time, the last two years I've spent trying to lose a metric fuck ton of weight. June 9, 2011. Day 1 with Darin, and it's been downhill from there ha, more like an uphill battle. But I've never stopped trying, I've had weeks where I've said this is ridiculous and I've had consults for gastric bypass. I've quit mountain dew cold turkey and I've drank a 2 liter in 2 days again. Hot and cold. Around August-ish of last year, I thought I needed something to work towards. I needed a big goal that I could spend my time working towards. I decided I wanted to compete in a bikini competition, and you can read about that here. That is apparently also the point in which I said fuck weight watchers...but, now we here...again. ha! history repeats itself. Anyways I picked up working with Darin again, got some new workouts and had a little more motivation. I wanted to be that badass, and that dedicated and driven and motivated. But then, life happened and I learned that I wasn't strong enough to follow any sort of real diet or structured training plan. I struggled for months. on. end. Especially after Zach died in September. If you've followed my blog, you've known the last 3-4 months that I've been hot and cold, constantly. Being inconsistent was the only thing I was good at.
I finally decided that it was okay that this sport wasn't for me. That doesn't mean I'm any less awesome because that's not my goal right now. I think the women who compete all have the most amazing willpower and dedication. For me though, I don't think I would ever be able to handle busting my ass for 16+ weeks (52 weeks or more would probably be a more realistic time frame) and then not even placing because the girl next to me was prettier...er, more asthetic is probably a better way to say that. I do better with objective. Oh, you can't snatch 60 kilos? well she can, so she wins. I think that is more my style. I hate cardio and with that being said, I think I've done <1 hour in the last 2 weeks. I also like being able to be flexible with my diet in a way that you can't as a competitor. and by flexible I mean days where I don't give a damn aren't the be all end all of my career. If I fall off the weight watchers wagon and eat at CiCis pizza no one is none the wiser. I think at some point you have to be honest with yourself about your own strengths and if something is wise for you to chase after. For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, I have an eating disorder. It's not actually specified, so it's EDNOS. The incredibly picky way that I eat, you know, not eating any legitimate vegetables and only certain brands of certain foods, even down to not eating the crusts of sandwiches, reeses, poptarts...I'm not an immortal 3 year old and it's not just because I'd rather have tater tots than carrots (I mean honestly I don't know anyone who would pick carrots over tater tots). It's because carrots have a different taste to me and that taste is bitter and disgusting. I have to play the hand I've been dealt and know that there's a difference in could and should, and also can't and won't. I always try to say "oh you can't get out of bed right now? you physically cannot move your legs? or you won't get out of bed?" and usually...it's more often than not the latter. Right now it's best that I chase after a barbell more so than a bikini because let's be honest, that may never happen. Olympic lifting gives me something to work towards that (most days) doesn't feel completely impossible. Though it has it's challenges as well, and the biggest one for me right now is being a beginner. Before I say this next sentence, hear me out, I don't brag. One of my friends at work had to speak up in the break room because a coworker was harassing me about trying weight watchers, unbeknownst to her that a)I was already doing the online program and b)I had already lost 95 pounds and c)I have social anxiety like you wouldn't believe so I couldn't tell her to go fly a kite. I just don't feel comfortable being like LOOK WHAT I DID! Then of course said coworker wanted to see pictures and talk about how I did it. You'd think I'd be okay with that seeing as you know it's hard as fuck to lose a lot of weight and I should be proud of what I've accomplished and I am. to a point. a healthy point, I think. But anyways I say that to say this. I'm incredibly intelligent. I pick up things pretty quickly, I love to read and I have a memory like you wouldn't believe. Problem is none of that has a damn thing to do with weight lifting of any sort. Remembering the price of Christmas tree shaped butter at Wal-Mart, what color shirt Matt had on at my sister's college graduation and what page Edward asks Bella to marry him in Eclipse, all of that doesn't mean jack shit for lifting. So instead I will focus my efforts on becoming better a little at a time. As you all know by now (or should know by now) I've been working on said Olympic lifting at a pretty damn awesome place known as Asheville Strength with some pretty damn awesome people, who have some of the funniest one liners I've ever heard. Tamara plays youtube videos of goats making noises between sets, and everyone has an answer for everything. It's just an all around cool place, and Tamara has a blog and this post spoke volumes to me and how I look at things.
so on that note, me and my bruised and brutally sore legs are going to study psychiatric diagnosis coding and rest. Nessie goes to Nashville happens (again) next week, so if you're not following me on instagram, you'll miss that shit show. Also I'm flying to Pittsburgh in August, and I'm already anxious. So let the adventures begin, ole! that's Spanish. I'm bilingual, if you didn't know.
and also a smart ass, if you didn't catch that last bit ;)
If you've known me for any amount of time, the last two years I've spent trying to lose a metric fuck ton of weight. June 9, 2011. Day 1 with Darin, and it's been downhill from there ha, more like an uphill battle. But I've never stopped trying, I've had weeks where I've said this is ridiculous and I've had consults for gastric bypass. I've quit mountain dew cold turkey and I've drank a 2 liter in 2 days again. Hot and cold. Around August-ish of last year, I thought I needed something to work towards. I needed a big goal that I could spend my time working towards. I decided I wanted to compete in a bikini competition, and you can read about that here. That is apparently also the point in which I said fuck weight watchers...but, now we here...again. ha! history repeats itself. Anyways I picked up working with Darin again, got some new workouts and had a little more motivation. I wanted to be that badass, and that dedicated and driven and motivated. But then, life happened and I learned that I wasn't strong enough to follow any sort of real diet or structured training plan. I struggled for months. on. end. Especially after Zach died in September. If you've followed my blog, you've known the last 3-4 months that I've been hot and cold, constantly. Being inconsistent was the only thing I was good at.
I finally decided that it was okay that this sport wasn't for me. That doesn't mean I'm any less awesome because that's not my goal right now. I think the women who compete all have the most amazing willpower and dedication. For me though, I don't think I would ever be able to handle busting my ass for 16+ weeks (52 weeks or more would probably be a more realistic time frame) and then not even placing because the girl next to me was prettier...er, more asthetic is probably a better way to say that. I do better with objective. Oh, you can't snatch 60 kilos? well she can, so she wins. I think that is more my style. I hate cardio and with that being said, I think I've done <1 hour in the last 2 weeks. I also like being able to be flexible with my diet in a way that you can't as a competitor. and by flexible I mean days where I don't give a damn aren't the be all end all of my career. If I fall off the weight watchers wagon and eat at CiCis pizza no one is none the wiser. I think at some point you have to be honest with yourself about your own strengths and if something is wise for you to chase after. For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, I have an eating disorder. It's not actually specified, so it's EDNOS. The incredibly picky way that I eat, you know, not eating any legitimate vegetables and only certain brands of certain foods, even down to not eating the crusts of sandwiches, reeses, poptarts...I'm not an immortal 3 year old and it's not just because I'd rather have tater tots than carrots (I mean honestly I don't know anyone who would pick carrots over tater tots). It's because carrots have a different taste to me and that taste is bitter and disgusting. I have to play the hand I've been dealt and know that there's a difference in could and should, and also can't and won't. I always try to say "oh you can't get out of bed right now? you physically cannot move your legs? or you won't get out of bed?" and usually...it's more often than not the latter. Right now it's best that I chase after a barbell more so than a bikini because let's be honest, that may never happen. Olympic lifting gives me something to work towards that (most days) doesn't feel completely impossible. Though it has it's challenges as well, and the biggest one for me right now is being a beginner. Before I say this next sentence, hear me out, I don't brag. One of my friends at work had to speak up in the break room because a coworker was harassing me about trying weight watchers, unbeknownst to her that a)I was already doing the online program and b)I had already lost 95 pounds and c)I have social anxiety like you wouldn't believe so I couldn't tell her to go fly a kite. I just don't feel comfortable being like LOOK WHAT I DID! Then of course said coworker wanted to see pictures and talk about how I did it. You'd think I'd be okay with that seeing as you know it's hard as fuck to lose a lot of weight and I should be proud of what I've accomplished and I am. to a point. a healthy point, I think. But anyways I say that to say this. I'm incredibly intelligent. I pick up things pretty quickly, I love to read and I have a memory like you wouldn't believe. Problem is none of that has a damn thing to do with weight lifting of any sort. Remembering the price of Christmas tree shaped butter at Wal-Mart, what color shirt Matt had on at my sister's college graduation and what page Edward asks Bella to marry him in Eclipse, all of that doesn't mean jack shit for lifting. So instead I will focus my efforts on becoming better a little at a time. As you all know by now (or should know by now) I've been working on said Olympic lifting at a pretty damn awesome place known as Asheville Strength with some pretty damn awesome people, who have some of the funniest one liners I've ever heard. Tamara plays youtube videos of goats making noises between sets, and everyone has an answer for everything. It's just an all around cool place, and Tamara has a blog and this post spoke volumes to me and how I look at things.
so on that note, me and my bruised and brutally sore legs are going to study psychiatric diagnosis coding and rest. Nessie goes to Nashville happens (again) next week, so if you're not following me on instagram, you'll miss that shit show. Also I'm flying to Pittsburgh in August, and I'm already anxious. So let the adventures begin, ole! that's Spanish. I'm bilingual, if you didn't know.
and also a smart ass, if you didn't catch that last bit ;)
Saturday, June 7, 2014
drum roll please...
Drum roll please. This is about to get good.
Just kidding, there really isn’t anything life altering in this blog…is there ever? Ha. Like I’ve said since day 1. If you’re here for the endless amount of factual, research driven information that I’m spewing out on the weekly, clearly you’ve took a hit of meth before you typed in that URL or clicked that link I’m incessantly posting on Facebook and the Instagram.
In 4 weeks of weight watchers (with I would say 75% adherence) I’ve lost 8.3 pounds. I wish that decimal wasn’t there. ha, no, that’s actually really good for me and roughly 2 pounds a week which is normal/healthy weight loss. And this month has flown by. I got a little lazy the past week or so, I haven't tracked and tried to keep a mental tab in my head which, math is for sure my worst subject so I don't know why I even tried that. But I'm only up .4 so I don't really care. My pants still fit, a little better than 2 months ago actually, so I'm cool with that.
I went to Crossfit ladies night with Tamera and Maggie, and I don't really know that I have a lot of words for it. Crossfits have a smell to them and if you've ever been in one, you know what I'm saying. It's a very distinct smell, I think a lot like the smell of bad decisions. I jest, I mean you all know how I am about doing whatever you want. I think you should do what makes you happy but I'm beginning to be a hater, as far as crossfit goes. I think there has to be a certain limit like you physically can not do something and you shouldn't do multiple reps of complex movements like snatches. That is legit hard work, you need to have control of this barbell kind of stuff, not like bicep curls where if you fuck up you can drop the weight whenever you feel like it. I get the idea behind it (I think) but I also know from first hand experience that bad coaching can get you an injury real quick and it's hard for me to say no to a pushy coach, or I feel like I have to do something because everyone else is. I kind of felt weird at this crossfit, like there's a culture about it that can either be inviting or intimidating and I was 50/50 on the whole situation. I also went and watched my first ever Olympic lifting meet. It was unsanctioned at Asheville Strength and it was pretty damn cool, if I do say so myself. I'm super bad at math, like SUPER bad so the whole "kilos" thing makes me want to die. But nonetheless it was really fun to watch and hopefully one day I'll get to that point.
I'm also going to address this,
I had typed up the biggest rant in the world about this picture and the responses to this I've seen all over Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I talked about discrimination and people being bitches, basically. This is what I will say. I think it's incredibly asinine for people to say that her education is somehow less valid because she is overweight. Her weight doesn't have a damn thing to do with her credentials or how well she does her job. I also highly doubt that this woman took that picture herself, made that little sign and stuck them up all across grocery stores in America. I think she was probably asked a leading question like "if you had to choose something to help a craving for sweets, what would you pick" and she said, WAIT FOR IT, dark chocolate *cue the end of the world.* ....... oh...we're still here? GREAT. That means an overweight dietitian suggesting people eat dark chocolate isn't the end of the fucking world as we know it. If you don't like it, don't eat it. End of story. I hate dark chocolate, it's the equivalent of a vegetable for me. I will never understand why this woman is being crucified on social media for essentially being like 68% of the American population, overweight or obese. I will never understand why anyone thinks they have the right to judge her because she's an overweight dietitian. There are plenty of overweight doctors, nurses, lawyers, insurance salespeople, dog groomers, mailmen, EMTs, Wal-Mart greeters and the like. No one is questioning them about how they do their job or making ugly memes about them, hating someone because they're fat doesn't make you any more valuable to the human race. In fact in my humble opinion it makes you a discriminatory asshat. Her intelligence is not and should not be tied in to a number on the scale. Pants sizes and IQs are not inversely proportionate to one another, if you didn't know. What if she started losing weight and then decided she wanted to become an RD to help other people struggling with the same issue and hasn't completely met her goal yet? she shouldn't be allowed to use the combination of formal education and her own personal experience until she's at an arbitrary number on the scale that is a)different for everyone and b)also has to do with your goals? OR is it okay for people to judge her because her because they think it "comes with the territory" because she's working in the health field and is overweight? It's never okay to judge someone based on their looks, period. End of discussion. But what if that lady in the picture has an eating disorder? thyroid problems? what if she had an organ transplant and the medicine she takes makes her gain weight? what if she works with people with renal disease or another medical problem that requires a special diet? RD's don't ONLY work with weight loss clients. I don't think there would be nearly as much uproar if she wasn't smaller and I find that unacceptable. I'm going to stop myself there. /end rant.
Do yall remember that dude on that ABC show "world news tonight"? I think his name was like Peter Jennings, and he always said something to the effect of "that's it for world news tonight, I'm Peter Jennings. Have a great evening" or something. Maybe I'll start a current events section on this blog but it would mostly be more like current events in the world/social media that are pissing me off and then have a cute little ending like that. potato/tomato. But that's it for this week. I'm off to drink a protein shake and eat some eggos because #chemicals. Then, go ahead and put your shocked faces on, remember how I constantly and consistently bitched about squats on the daily? well, I'm going to a squat seminar today at noon! voluntarily. with some excitement. Though I am almost 98% sure I will never go to a push-up seminar. I also doubt there is a need for one of those, but again, I digress. The point is, I'm off to get some nomz in my belly.
Do yall remember that dude on that ABC show "world news tonight"? I think his name was like Peter Jennings, and he always said something to the effect of "that's it for world news tonight, I'm Peter Jennings. Have a great evening" or something. Maybe I'll start a current events section on this blog but it would mostly be more like current events in the world/social media that are pissing me off and then have a cute little ending like that. potato/tomato. But that's it for this week. I'm off to drink a protein shake and eat some eggos because #chemicals. Then, go ahead and put your shocked faces on, remember how I constantly and consistently bitched about squats on the daily? well, I'm going to a squat seminar today at noon! voluntarily. with some excitement. Though I am almost 98% sure I will never go to a push-up seminar. I also doubt there is a need for one of those, but again, I digress. The point is, I'm off to get some nomz in my belly.
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