Do you wanna play a game?

Imagine me saying that like the guy from the Saw movies. I feel like today's boot camp could have been part of one of the movies. Just kidding. Kind of. There was a lot of complaining and whining, from me mostly.

Today was different in that we played a "game" instead of having what Natalie calls "centers". We took a deck of cards and each suit had a exercise associated with it. I don't remember what was what but it was burpees, prison squats, mountain climbers and v-ups. The number card you drew was the number of reps. The ace means a minute of said exercise. Clever. There was a small amount of mercy shown in that everyone had 1 veto, but when I say small amount, I mean a small amount... you had to choose another exercise to do instead. Which got sketchy because there aren't a ton of exercises that I love that a group can do. I wish "resting" was an exercise. I felt like at one point Darin had removed the low number cards because we kept getting 9s and 10s and I'm not good with cards. But it felt like a lot. I asked if he had removed the low cards and he didn't, so he claimed. I feel like we weren't playing with a full deck. Take that as you will. At one point Darin got a veto, which, I feel like there should be rules. Like you have to participate to get the veto power. But unfortunately I do not make the rules. We did 2, 10 second negative push ups. First of all, that's a realllllllllly long time. But at least it wasn't prison squats. There were plenttttyyyy of those. Plenty. Natalie, Amber, Becky and I were grouped up on the red mats. When we did v-ups we made a star formation. Cute little stuff like that makes me happy haha, you do what you gotta do to survive. Though at the end we did a 30 second plank and my mat slipped out from under my feet and I came down kinda hard. That was a less than optimal dismount from a plank.

I burned 502 calories from boot camp before 9:30am. So I mean, at least my workout was out of the way and I feel like I did okay. I'm really tired and Rebecca and I both had a few choice words today getting out of the car at home haha. My legs are feeling kinda sketchy, but hopefully a nice nap will cure all. But I doubt it.

Games, Spanish and lots-o-squats

Here at a chance to start over, we all know my life's goal is well, I don't have a life's goal. I just like to write, and be different and God knows I've got the "different" part down.

Lets play a word association game. I'm gonna say a word and then I'm gonna say another word. Or a phrase because we all know I'm not a one word kind of girl.

Squats; suck.
3 point rows; heavy.
Dead lifts; I'd rather be dead.
Tabata rounds; I wish it was the bread.
Planks; maybe I could walk the plank instead.
Cable incline flys; suckage at a level that is unfit for words.
Lat pull downs; el favorito. That's Spanish for my favorite. Just kidding. El means the, but favorito I just made up. I know "el taxicons aqui" is broken Spanish for "cabs are here!", Jersey shore quotes in another language, for the win!

Maybe next post I'll write a poem.

Darin was right though, I will rue the day I got that heart rate monitor. During the 100lb dead lift/squat superset today, instead of going by time for rest we went by my heart rate. I don't know if y'all know or not but 140 isn't a "resting" heart rate. I thought I was gonna get dead during those dead lifts. We did a Tabata round at the end and I'm fairly sure I'm not spelling that right, and my phone keeps changing it to "tabitha" rounds so I may just leave it like that. Stupid iPhone. Just kidding, I love my phone and I have small panic attacks when I misplace it. Anyways it was medicine ball slams, cleans and presses, prison squats and a plank. I'm beginning to kind of like cleans and presses. But I still hate squats.

Also can we please talk about how beast-ish Wed-today has been? Yesterday I did 3 separate workouts. Baaaaad choice. I feel like hell. I did legs yesterday morning, then Jennifer and I did shoulders + 20 minutes on the bikes THEN 50 minutes of Zumba which lets also be clear, was my JAM. It was really hard and my heart rate never got below 160. Ever. We did gangam (idk how to spell that mess) and soulja boy, and a couple of songs that I feel like would have been playing at papas and beer or la caretta, your choice of Mexican deliciousness. There was one song that was basically just squats and nothing else. That one was my least favorite as you all probably could have guessed. My goal while I'm at the Y is at least to try all the classes like "CSI" (cardio strength intervals) and boot camp and power pump. They also have a intro to cycling and yoga classes I'm somewhat interested in trying. I feel better about trying stuff now that I know I'm somewhat able to keep up. I feel like if I can survive boot camp at O3, a 30 minute power pump class won't be the end of me. I mean I could be wrong but I'm hoping I'm not haha. Also there's a workout class in the shallow end of the pool! Which means the chances of me drowning because I can't swim decrease drastically. Whoooo! I just need someone to go with me because obviously I'm 3 can't go anywhere alone. I know I may have said this before but really. I know how cliche it sounds but having a workout partner like Jennifer has made all the difference. Someone who knows how you feel and can be like um hey you're not the only one! And someone to tell you to at least TRY the 15lbs on the seated shoulder press is invaluable. She was a champ at Zumba and I would have never gone alone. Yesterday I burned 1,055 calories. Then when I got home I had a protein shake because the hell if I was eating anything to mess up the work I just did. Then I slept for 10 hours and didn't wake up once. It was a small slice of heaven.

And get this. People noticing my weight loss happens from time to time, especially if i haven't seen them in a while, but it made my entire day when Natalie hugged me and said "Nessie you feel so small!", no one has ever said that to me haha. Not that I'm small by any means, but smaller than previously is a good thing too.

Anyways. Boot camp tomorrow! I wish I was as excited as that sentence made it sound haha. Oh. And my mom got this thing called "yonanas" for Christmas that turns frozen fruit into soft serve ice cream. I called bullshit to begin with but I've seen the error of my ways. This banana is my favorite. It really does taste like ice cream and I don't know how that works. Magic I guess.

That's all for now. Tune in next time for another post filled with snark, bitching, bragging and random things you probably didn't even want to know.
✌

Changes.

Christmas is officially over, thank God. Love my family but I don't like the pressure and guilt and all that comes with holidays.

Santa brought the best gift ever. A polar watch, but he brought the FT1 which doesn't track calories. So I acted as an elf and went back to Dicks sporting goods and got the ft4 and its my jam. It comes with a chest strap, and the HR monitor is actually really accurate. I kinda dont love the chest strap thing but hopefully I will get used to it. Though today when my heart rate hit 300, Darin and I both thought I was about to turn into the hulk or just explode and die. Turns out I'm a moron and had it displaying the calories haha.

Anyways. Today's workout was awesome. Especially in spite of the fact I hadn't worked out since Friday. Because life happens and I'm lazy. Anyways. Today started out with a 2 round treat of bird dogs, squats, a 30 second plank and some donkey kicks (that's what I call them). Then we did 2 merry go rounds of a seated row, plié squats with a heavy as hell kettlebell, the hulks and step ups with 20lb dumbbells. My shoulders are tired. Then we ended the party with the push and press, straight leg raises and boot strappers. That wasn't my jam by any means but I'm trying to complain less especially seeing as I took a 4 day hiatus and went to eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and not exercising.

I joined the Y today (the rush was a horrible idea) and tomorrow morning at 630 there's an "early bird" class, that's apparently a full body circuit with weights, steps (my favorite -_-) and resistance bands. Hopefully my social anxiety won't keep me from going. Though. Honestly I never in my life thought I would get up that early to go to a workout, much less working out twice in one day. I got a Lily Pulitzer planner for Christmas and I've been writing down all the calories burned and workouts I've done. Which basically boils down to "I wrote down what I did today." Tomorrow though, I get back on track. I haven't drank an entire Nalgene bottle of water in weeks. Weeks. Which is no bueno and possibly what my kidneys are hurting again.

Things have changed a lot since June. Really. And it's so weird to me and especially when I notice them. Right now my biggest things are my ability to walk what used to feel like "long distances" without being winded or tired. Also, my pants are getting entirely too loose. Which is nice but a nuisance.

Anyways. I'm also kind of tired of blogging. So I may or may not continue, mostly because sometimes believe it or not I don't have a ton to say. That's all I have for now, other than I really need it to stop snowing.

✌

Well that was disappointing.

First of all, I'm somewhat disappointed that the power hasn't even gone out, with all this end of the world bullshit going on. The Myans need to get it together. I don't know what I'm saying or if they even still exist. I'm also annoyed its snowing. Winter is hands down the worst season ever. I need to move somewhere its sunny all year, and no natural disasters occur. I don't do tornados, hurricanes or mud slides either.

Today's workout was good times, kinda. If you haven't seen "shit women say to personal trainers" on YouTube, go watch. Then come back and you'll understand what I'm about to say. We started off with a 3 round not merry at all go round of 10 push ups and inverted rows. With no rest between anything. ALL WE DO IS PUSH UPS. seriously though I hate push ups. Then we did the squat and row and straight arm pulls and tricep pulls. Which my triceps still weren't feeling 100% from Wednesday. Darin said it best when he said the squat and row is like doing a wall sit without the benefit of the wall, and then rowing. Which I was telling Jennifer today, I would like to try like canoeing (is that a word?) but I'm afraid I would sink said canoe, then in turn because I can't swim, I would drown. So that's maybe something I could consider in the summer when beaver lake isn't frozen and I felt like a life jacket would fit around me. Anyways, then we moved on to standing on the damn bosu ball (it's not a stinkin ball. It's half of one) and doing bicep curls. On a scale of 1-fuck this, it was a solid I wish I had a knife to deflate this half of a ball or slit my wrists. Either way would have been cool with me. then we did the 45 degree lat pull down which is still my jam. Except my arms and back were and are tired. Supersetted with a friggen plié squat. Seriously. Fuck that. I hate squats with every fiber of my being and if I never do another one it will be entirely too soon. Then we did a plank, straight leg raises, crunches, 20 seconds of flutter kicks and these side to side crunches that made me feel like I was dying, in somewhat of a good way. It takes more to make me feel stuff now. Like more weight/reps.

I know all of the above makes me sound like I'm bitching, and I am. But this is still hard for me, and sometimes I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to go back to the way I was before with no activity and no thought to what I ate but I miss not having to do things I don't want to do. I have the princess mentality, and I get it. But this is a really hard thing to do, working out like there's no tomorrow (bad end of the world puns, for the win!) and trying to not gain weight and dealing with life. The world doesn't stop because I have things to do. Right now I'm focused more on not gaining, and I'm telling myself that if I can't get it together for "big" meals like dinner, through the day there's no snacking and I'm gonna drink a ton of water. I may be wrong with that thought process but at least it's not like I'm drinking a 2 liter of Mountain Dew (the way God intended man to hydrate themselves) during the day and eating a bag of Cheetos. Hopefully that's not what I like to call "fat girl trickery" where I trick myself (more like convince myself) that what I'm doing isn't all THAT bad when I know it is. My goal for this small break (I don't see Darin again till wednesday) is to make it to the gym at least twice, and not gain 61 pounds. I found a arm workout after consulting the google that I want to try. Except I'm not sure how its gonna work seeing as apparently the number of reps is lower because the weight is supposed to be heavier. Darin also said pushing to failure should happen, which I don't like (princess problems at their finest). I just don't like not being able to finish what I start. Annnnd I feel like people at the gym judge me when that happens, and when I put weight on the bar. Last time this little Asian boy who had on weight lifting gloves while he was squatting (I'm not an expert on them but I feel like you don't need those during that particular exercise) told me "I've never seen a girl work so hard in the gym" and then he said "if you need help lifting the weights (to put them on the bar for a chest press) I can help". So thanks to this little 80lb boy, he just confirmed my imaginary audience isn't so imaginary. I also feel like that was a backhanded compliment. Anyways. I'm not sure what the point of the story is, other than I'm still really bad at this whole gym thing and life is tough, haha.

Anyways. My arms shake anytime I try to put them above my head so I'm going to have to be creative when I wash my hair tonight. And if the world doesn't end tonight (there's still time!) I have to do my Christmas shopping tomorrow with the rest of Asheville. Though. I did find this shirt in target today and came thiiiiis close to getting it. I'm gonna make like a banana and split. Which sounds delicious right now. Ok. I'm out. ✌

Pre-apocalypse workouts.

So I think the world is officially ending on Friday. So no Christmas shopping for me! just kidding. My mom needs something nice for not killing me in 23 years. It's basically a world record. "Putting up with the half ton teens smart mouth and attitude for 23 years" should be in the Guinness book of world records. Anyways.

Today's workout was fun-ish. I really wish the person who decided to make squats an exercise, myself and a revolver were in a back ally somewhere desolate. We started out with a misery go round of these prance-like lateral steps, prison squats (side note. I wouldn't care to go to a minimum security prison, it seems like summer camp and at least I would have some squats to do in the "yard" that were appropriately named. I watch prison documentaries a lot so if I ever so go to prison I could fit in), then it's equally hated and equally a squat like cousin, the push and press then pistons. Then we did some dead lifts. Then cleans and presses and planks. My everything was shaking during that. My legs still effin hurt. STILL. 3 DAYS LATER. For the love of all that is good and holy. Then we did some step back lunges. My balance is terrible and I hate anything that requires it. And anything called a lunge. Then we did abs. My non existent muscle group. We did these straight leg raises where we held 25 pound plate weights up and did them. Darin acted like we were gonna do brace squats with them. My first thought was please God let that be a joke. It was. Every time I did a squat or squat like motion, my hamstrings felt like they were ripping. Then we did some transverse crunches and CPRs. I feel like Jesus can do his own CPR at this point. All I really want to do at this point it lay down and sleep for a few or 27 hours. Tomorrow is 3/3 and the last partner session for a while. My hands hurt and they have callouses. I know what you're thinking. Get some weight lifting gloves. Alas. That would be right but I really feel like a retarded gang banger in gloves without the fingers. So I'll ruin my dainty hands, I guess. Get this though. Should I ever go to Afghanistan, they would know I wasn't part of the Taliban and wouldn't kill me. That's how they tell if you're one of them or undercover. Village people have tough hands from working and the Taliban-ians don't. They have soft hands. That's what I read somewhere on the Internet. And we all know the Internet can't lie. Also. My back muscles are sore but not any of the rest of my arms which is perfectly fine by me but I'm surprised.

Anyways. I'm off to do something. No I'm not. I'm laying on my couch, relaxing all cool, shooting some bball, I thought I was cool. Ok. I'm not Will Smith and I really am done. ✌

Row, row, row, row and row your boat.

My legs feel like really tight rubber bands. They're still hurting from boot camp! Which, either means I've done something really right or really wrong.

Today's working was probably by far the best one ever. The ONLY thing I didn't like was the introduction of the foam roller. Seriously. The best way I can describe that is like laying down on a pair of really sharp scissors and rolling around on them. I do not want to repeat that, ever. Then we moved on to strictly upper body which is my jam. We did shoulder presses, seated rows and some kind of pull downs, and the weight got increased every single time. Mostly because I really still suck at this whole "how was that?" game. I don't know if I should judge based on if I feel like I can do 2 more sets, how I feel during each set, etc. It's stressful, and anything that required brain cells today wasn't happening. So I just shrugged my shoulders. Then we did straight arm pulls, the incline press and bent over rows. The weights all got increased because I continued to shrug my shoulders. Then we did some standing rows and what is now referred to as the "I want to go home" rows, or triceratops row. I don't know the musclehead/correct name. But my arms were really tired on the way home haha. I did a lot of rowing today. But, on the standing rows, I noticed there were a lot of weights on it. Apparently 120lbs of weight. Which. I know I probably didn't look one bit excited but I am. That's a ton of weight. And I can move it. I feel really strong and that's a new feeling for me. I love it and I really couldn't be more pleased. It's a nice way to end the day.

Anyways. I'm thinking I should shower before my muscle fatigue really sets in and I just have to stand there and try to muscle up the strength to wash my hair haha. Really though. Tomorrow morning may not be the most pleasant experience. Also. It's a week until Christmas Eve and I haven't done one bit of shopping per my usual. The world is also supposed to end Friday I think. Either way is fine with me.

Annnnd I'm out ✌

I didn't see that coming.

So. Yesterday I had a horrendous day, and an attitude to match. I knew going to workout would probably make me even less tolerable, so I text Darin and he actually let me off the hook. With basically a promise to appear at boot camp. Which brings me to today.

When I woke up this morning, I was really disoriented because I hadn't been to boot camp in like 5 weeks and couldn't figure out what that ringing sound was, why I was so cold or where my hairbow was... until I was like oh, snap. That's my alarm and I'm supposed to go to boot camp. Anyways, I ate some peanut butter toast on whole wheat bread in my bed (don't judge me) and then went and picked up my friend Jer. Rebecca, Jer and I were the only 3 boot camp participants, which was nice. Anyways, we started off with some stretches, and a round of squats, a plank and mountain climbers. Then we got down to business and there were 8 stations, and let me say this. I TOLD Rebecca last night, "I haven't had to do any surrenders in a long, long time. I bet we'll do them tomorrow" and station #1? surrenders. It's like I'm Miss Cleo. Not really, because I didn't see the rest of boot camp coming haha. From there, there were bicycle crunches, sumo jump squats, brace squats, step back lunges with an overhead press, inverted rows, incline press and offset fronts and sides. I started with surrenders and this shocked me to my core. They weren't nearly as hard as I remember. Now. Granted, I didn't hold the bar over my head, but they were actually #1 on my list of most hated exercises ever. Which, now I have a new number one. But anyways, I'll tell you what I did hate. Going from sumo jump squats to brace squats and then the lunges. That was leg hell confined to a gym. I also have something shocking to say, which I may later regret posting on my blog but right now I feel pretty good about my life. I didn't hate the brace squats. At all. IF I had to do a squat, I would 100x rather do those than even plain old body weight squats. While I'm talking about squats, efffffffff some sumo jump squats. A)whales can't jump. B)they're really hard. Also. I told myself today before I went in the gym, "Nessie. you didn't work out yesterday so you have no excuse for half assing anything, don't automatically grab for the lightest weight. there's no point in being here if you're not trying". I guess it worked haha. On the incline press today, the first round I used 20s, and then I decided to at least give the 25s a shot, I could always drop them if they're too heavy. Nope. not too heavy. I mean, it was challenging and the last 2 reps I realllllllllllly had to push, and once on the way down I caught myself in the throat. But you win some, you lose some. and by lose some I mean a wind pipe. After we did 2 somewhat merry go rounds of that, we did abs. whooo. I don't have abs. I think I'm missing those muscles. We did some regular crunches with your legs in the air, straight leg raises, transverse crunches and v-ups or whatever. That was all I had left in the tank. Today was leg heavy. I know I may be bragging and other people can do more reps than I did with more weight, but I think today was the best I've done so far. I felt like I did kick ass, and I'm happy with the way it turned out. Which is weird because I never thought I'd be happy with boot camp. I didn't see that coming. at allllllllllll.

Anyways. I guess I should actually get some stuff done today. I feel like I've been awake foreverrrrrr. and 2 hours. Hopefully I'll be able to walk tomorrow, but that's still up in the air. Jer, Becky and I planned on the gym tomorrow. My legs feel really weak right now. Like at any moment it's going to be what I like to call the "invisible gunshot" where you're just walking and you take a tumble because your legs can't hold you. I've never actually hit the floor, I usually catch myself but today may be the day. I dropped my keys in my office and used a broom handle to get them because the hell if I'm squatting down to pick them up. Anyways, here's to hoping. I'm out!

Squat-a-thon Thursday.

Unlike yesterday, today was a squatting free for all. A squat-a-thon if you will. Split squats.Body weight squats. Plié squats. The squat and row. While we all know how much I just love squats, today I was ready to hurl myself off the top of the building and call it a loss. All I'm saying about that is I better have some BANGIN legs when all is said and done. God knows using my body weight for squats is plenttttyyyy. Except. How does this work? I'm losing weight. Shouldn't this be easier?! It wasn't. I'm all out of order today because I'm all over the place. I'm just gonna hit the highlights. Like when we did chest presses and I couldn't finish all 10 of either set. Failure. I hate that, because I'm such a type A personality. I remember every time I can't do stuff. Like in June, when we were doing squats (surprise), and I couldn't finish the last 2 of the last set. It was session #5 I believe. Moving on. We did some cleans and presses and pistons and bent over rows, oh my. My shoulder blade muscles are hurting as I type this post haha. We did some bridges and then Jennifer performed a circus side show act and read my mind. Darin said "I want you to do 15 boot strappers" and Jennifer said I bet you do. That was the first thing that popped in my head. Then we did 15 more. My quads hurt. That's muscle head speak for my legs. Or you know, anyone with basic anatomy knowledge speak. We did a really long warm up today. Instep lunges, total body extensions, a plank, mountain climbers, split squats on each leg and body weight squats. If that sounds like a lot, well it was and I am really tired. That was a 100% ass kicking workout.

Also, I've drank enough water to drown a whale today. I don't know what that means other than I shouldn't still be dehydrated.

Anyways. I'm not really sure I'm gonna be able to walk tomorrow. That isn't a joke. Every time I try to sit down without just completely falling and destroying the furniture Godzilla style, my legs shake like a cup of jello in an earthquake. Oh well. 6 months ago I legit wouldn't have been able to do this. That my friends, is called looking at the bright side of things.

Ok. It's bed time. Ho has to work, workout and take her daddy out for a belated birthday dinner tomorrow! And oddly enough I'm not dreading any of the above tomorrow. I'll leave you with more pictures. You're welcome. Again. :)

Christmas miracles.

hello friends.

I have for sale/trade 2 gently used kidneys. They've served me well the past 23 years but right now they're causing me nothing but pain and a headache. And 15$ payroll deducted to see my doctor at staff health because I'm cheap and refused to pay 40$ for a copay to see my PMD. Just kidding. though, I think sunday night I would have gladly cut myself from gut to gill to get them to stop hurting. Which, if this is anything like my daddy felt when he was on dialysis, I couldn't imagine living like that. Anyways, I'm on the mend thankfully. Kidney infections suck. I was out of work and the gym for 2 days and I missed the gym 100x more than I missed work.

However. get this. So. I get up this morning and weighed myself. I have 2 scales at home (don't judge me) one is electronic and the other is like the ones at the doctors office. I got on and slid everything over to around what it had been for the past week, and lo and behold, I had lost weight. I pushed it back by another pound. Still too heavy. another pound. still too heavy. At this point I wasn't 100% sure I wasn't being punk'd. That Ashton Kutcher wasn't about to pop out of my dryer with a tv crew. 6 pounds later, I'm down 61 pounds. Um I'm sorry WHAT? that was my first reaction. Then I made Rebecca weigh me because I thought my arms being up moving the slider things would be the issue. nope. Though, I haven't eaten much because the combonation of antibiotics I'm on upsets my stomach, but I really didn't think I'd done 6 pounds worth of not eating. I also check my BMI on a regular basis, mostly just to see the change, and I've went from 51 to 42. It's still fatty fatty 2x4 status, but not as much as before. Though apparently it's all fluid. Which means it all 6 may come back. Fingers crossed it doesn't. I mean my food and water intake hasn't been up to par lately and by up to par I mean I haven't drank enough water to keep an infant alive. But when you feel like barbed wire is coming out of your insides when you go to the bathroom you generally avoid water. Which is counter productive at best.

Anyways. Darin asked me to write a plug/honest evaluation for his personal trainerness and so I'll include the link his website, so you all can read it. Seriously. It's 100% honest. I couldn't be happier with the choice I made to hire him as my trainer. He made today #squatfreewednesday which was all I ever dreamed of but to be honest, had today been 100 squats Wednesday, I would have still written exactly what I did. Though this was like an early Christmas miracle.

http://www.fivestarrfitness.com/blog/2012/12/vanessa-f/

I'm technically challenged so you're gonna either have to copy and paste that into your browser or go to my Facebook for the link.

Coming back to workout today may have been premature. We started out with 3 rounds of a dead lift, Romanian dead lift, step ups and the incline press. Round 3 started off slow and by the time I got to the step ups, I had to bail halfway through because I was fairly sure my lunch was going to make a reappearance. It didn't, thankfully, but my stomach wasn't happy. Then we moved on to cardio. Instep lunges, a 30 second plank, crunches and medicine ball slams. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Then we did some bird dogs and some glute kickbacks, stretched and called it a day. Now I'm laying in my car resting while Rebecca works out. My stomach still feels like someone put my stomach in a blender and mashed "purée" and now I'm thirsty as all get out. This cranberry grape juice I mixed with a little water isn't cutting it.

Anyways. I will be in my bed from the time I get home until I have to get up for work tomorrow. But first. To find some clean water. I say that like I'm in Africa and have to go find water in a hole and carry it back on my head while I sing some song like on The Jungle Book. But no. By clean water I mean not city water. And below are pictures I find amusing and the cutest kitten in the world. You're welcome.

Around and around we go.

welcome back to your regular programming of snark and complaints. And me taking up blog space rambling about my life. But I got a really nice response to my 55 post, which, thank you all for that :) to celebrate losing 55lbs I'm eating a pack of nutter butter cookies as I write this post. Put your guns down, that's a joke. I make those from time to time. Though joking about eating cookies on a blog about losing weight is generally punishable by death. Moving on.

Today there aren't that many complaints other than I'm really tired and I still hate doing squats. Today was tricky. We started out with a merry go round of the incline press, a seated row and cleans and presses. Though things kept changing. Like Instead of the 10lbs during the first round of cleans and presses, I got a 12.5, then because I really just can't keep my mouth shut sometimes, I moved up from 15 to a 20lb on the incline press. Luckily I love the incline press and I use 15s when I go to missions gym, and I think the seated row went up 10lbs too. I believe we did 3 rounds of that. Then. Here's where it gets tricky. We did a less than merry go round, more like a blow my brains out round of effin bosu ball burpees and the squat and press with the cables. The bosu ball burpees aren't on my list of 5 exercises I hate, but that stinkin squat is. Actually, squats are #2 on my list, and it's an umbrella item that covers any kind of squat imaginable. Hack squats, goblet squats, plié squats, the stupid squats with the cables, the push and press, anything that has a squat in it is covered by that term and it's a safe bet to assume I would rather do pretty much anything else than squat. Including chewing razor blades and then swishing with pure alcohol. That little go round was pretty high up on the scale of 1-fuck this. I only had to do it twice though. So I mean there was SOME mercy shown. Then we did step ups with a kick back and lateral hops. We rounded out the party with 3 rounds of the lat pull down, straight arm pulls and face pulls. I actually love all the above. My top 5 favorite exercises are the incline press, dumb bell flys, the hulks, 45 degree lat pull downs and shoulder presses. I have yet to find a lower body exercise I love. Though, get this. So I went to the gym Wednesday and it was crowded as allllllll get out. But I was like I'm here. Might as well do something. I bought this fitness Rx magazine in the gift shop because Nicole Wilkins was in it and I love her. But this exercise has this super formal sounding name, but obviously I changed it, but the picture is below (its not Nicole doing, I don't know who that girl is) and I call them supermans. My posterior chain hurt from Tuesday and doing those didn't help matters but I really was lovin life, and I think they're lower body. Anyways, I like them. Which probably means I'm doing them wrong. Also. When I'm "done" and I've reached my goal weight and all that jazz, I want to look like this girl (picture below) except I kinda don't think that will work seeing as my back looks like I got in a fight with Edward Scissorhands and lost. I have one long scar from the base of my neck to the small of my back an then about a 8 inch scar on my right hip where they took a bone graft. Cute, I know. Actually I'm really self conscious about them. But anyways, that's not the point. The point is, this I need muscles like this.

I feel like we cram a lot in to 45 minutes. And it's weird to think about how my definition of a successful gym trip has changed. Like how much I got done on Wednesday on what I would call an off day and how much I did on a good day back in June or July is a night and day difference.

I'm home alone for the weekend and I am thrilled! I got 3 books from the library today (see below) and that's my plan for the weekend. With maybe a gym trip and some food involved. I laid in the car and read the first 80 pages of "the end of your life book club" while Rebecca worked out with Darin and when I got out to go in I was in what I call a "book coma". It's where I get so involved in a book, and start reading and lose track of time (had I not set an alarm on my phone I would have never went inside O3) and forget the world keeps on going while that happens haha. That's actually how my eyes went so bad, so says my eye doctor. When I was in elementary school through like 8th grade I would stay up past my bedtime and read in the dark. I mean like pitch black. That's the price you pay I guess haha.

Now that I've rambled enough to keep you all busy for a good 20 minutes, I'm going to read until I fall asleep. I'm ouuuut!

55.

So. It's been approximately 6 months since I started this whole journey/blog back in June. It seems like everything has happend so fast and so insanely slow all at the same time. First of all, I can't believe it's already December. It really does seem like 2 weeks ago I was thinking "what am I doing?!" in the parking lot at O3 back in June. So much has changed. In honor of losing 55 pounds, I compiled a list of 55 things that have changed/I've learned in the past 6 months. Some may be sarcastic/cynical (what?!) but there are some real heartfelt things in here, however few and far between those are :) So don't judge me.

1. No one has ever died from doing too many squats.
2. Mountain Dew is something I can live without. I may not want to, but it's not essential to my daily diet.
3. Being able to buy clothes that I actually like is really, really fun. Maybe not so great for my bank account, but fun nonetheless.
4. Going to the gym doesn't actually burn calories. It's what you do in the gym that does.
5. Using the stairs has become almost second nature. There have been times I've actually been in the stairwell at the hospital and realized I could have used the elevator.
6. It's okay to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Occasional bragging is healthy.
7. Everyone has their own ideas about how to lose weight and get healthy. You have to do what's best for you, and make the necessary sacrifices.
8. You have to MAKE time to exercise.
9. No matter what you choose in a drive through, it's not a good choice.
10. No one can want this more than you. If your heart isn't in it, and you aren't commited, it won't last.
11. Buying music to listen to during your cardio sessions on iTunes is an investment in yourself and your success :)
12. Ellipiticals are the most unnecessary piece of cardio equipment ever invented.
13. Never in my entire life did I think I would put ANYTHING back on the shelf at the grocery store because of the sugar content. Especially yogurt.
14. You'll never know until you try. Be it a 60 second plank, boxing or if you can cook talipia.
15. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and give broccoli a second chance.
16. It's a lot easier to spend 45 minutes in the gym doing things that maybe aren't so fun, than to wake up every day and hate what you see.
17. I'm capable of way more than I ever thought possible.
18. I prefer turkey burgers to ground beef hamburgers any day of the week.
19. I will never go back to the way it was with my diet and lack of exercise. Ever.
20. Boot camp isn't as scary as it sounds. wait. yes it is.
21. The scale doesn't always move as fast as I'd like, but progress isn't always measured in pounds.
22. Find inspiration wherever you can. I spend hours on pinterest on the health and fitness boards, and I'm an instacreep on instagram. Whatever it takes on the days I feel like giving up.
23. I make better choices when I have a plan. When I decided "I'll figure it out tomorrow", tomorrow turns in to a sugar filled free for all.
24. Crystal lite energy mixes are delicious (especially peach mango). But they really do give you energy and you will crash, hard, after you drink 4 of them.
25. Bosu balls are of the devil.
26. Comparison is the easiest way to get discouraged.
27. Sometimes you just need to eat a poptart and move on with your life.
28. Being sore isn't fun, but neither is being fat and lazy.
29. I feel better overall than I ever have before. Ever.
30. If I can do this, you (whoever may be reading this literary masterpeice) can too. It's not rocket science, but it does take hard work.
31. I need to buy stock in hairbows.
32. Having a professional in your corner (like Darin Starr) makes a world of difference.
33. Not getting winded and tired after 2 minutes of walking is nice.
34. It's okay to have a bad day, and it's okay to cry. It's not okay to quit.
35. One of the best feelings in the world is being able to wear clothes you never have been able to before. I was so happy, I literally cried in the dressing room at Gap.
36. Realizing that being significantly overweight raises my chances of having SO many disease. Especially diabetes, which is what caused my dad to need a kidney transplant.
37. Sometimes you just have to drop an f-bomb and move on.
38. Changing the names of exercises is fun.
39. You have to give exercises a second chance and be reasonable. I have a list of 5, and only 5, exercises I absolutely and truly hate. But I also have a list of 5+ exercises that I love. It's about balance!
40. Being able to see muscles when you aren't flexing (no matter how little) is one of the best feelings, ever.
41. Having this blog has been super therapeutic for me. I love to write and I love feedback about it! I know it's a blog filled with vulgarity, grammar issues and all that but it's my place to get out what I try to hold in.
42. Skeletoes get some SERIOUS stank to them, even if you wash them.
43. After a hard workout, sometimes you just need to lay in your bed and watch here comes honey boo boo. It will make you feel better about your life.
44. Getting up at 7:30 on a Saturday to go exercise is really, really hard. But I've never regretted it. I always regret when I don't go.
45. Portion sizes in restaurants are entirely too big.
46. You don't have to eat foods you don't like to lose weight. But you may have to readjust your taste and figure out if you truly don't like it or you just want something else.
47. Sweet tea isn't that much better of a choice than mountain dew.
48. I LOVE weight training. Love.
49. You can't be afraid to try something new. This whole process is new, and scary...but it's absolutely worth it.
50. One day at a time is the best motto.
51.There really is no better feeling than thinking "how am I still alive?!" after a workout.
52. I don't want to just be skinny. I want to be absolutely as strong as possible.
53. Picking up a 40lb kettle bell was a huuuuge reality check. I can barely lift it but I'm carrying that and more around all day every day. Wow.
54. I, in fact, will not wake up tomorrow 55 pounds heavier if I eat a cupcake.
55. I've realized that while having a personal trainer isn't for everyone, it was exactly what I needed to make the permanent changes I so desperately needed.

There you have it. 55 things that I have changed/learned in 6 months. I'm not gonna recap today's workout other than saying it was really a nice mix of everything. We did push ups and I think we all know I feel about those. Anyways, my 55 pounds lighter self needs to get in the shower. That's all for now! :)

60 seconds. 60 minutes. Same/same.

So. Today has been crazy as usual. My grandma is still in the hospital and she isn't doing well. It made me feel really selfish to go to O3 today and workout and continue on like nothing's happening.

Speaking of. Today was killer. In both senses of the word. I wanted to just stay on the bike and move on with my life but apparently that's not an option. We kicked the party off with some weird like step back lunges that weren't my jam. I have a hard enough time walking forward. So stepping back and all that was a mess. Then we did some glute kickbacks and some crab walking type thing where you do like a half squat and step side to side. Then we did some offset Romanian dead lifts, which are on my list of exercises I'd rather cause myself bodily harm than do. They generally make me sore for days. Days I tell you. 3 sets of 8 on each leg and by the end I was feeling like a giant elephant made of jello. Then we did a merry go round of 3 point rows with 20lbs. My first thought was umm heavy. Then we did straight arm pulls and the lat pull down. Good times were had by all. No really though. It was all heavy-ish but I like those exercises. Jennifer and I kept losing count of what we were doing. Then we got the workout giggles when Jennifer essentially made a fart joke. Then we did step ups and regular Romanian dead lefts. I'm kinda over step ups because the light bulb finally came on today and its like you're perpetually walking up the stairs. I know what some of you are thinking. Wow this girl is stoopid. To those I say, at least I'm pretty. No but really. I don't know why that hasn't clicked before now. The grande finale was a plank. A 60 second plank. My first thought was really "SOMEBODY ate a big bowl of crazy as hell for breakfast this morning". Then I thought, well that was rude, but this wont end well. Then I said, stop it and stop it right now. I told myself (I talk to myself A LOT) my body won't go where my mind won't take it so suck it up. All you can do is try. And lo and behold, the heavens smiled down and I lasted all 60 seconds. Longest minute of my entire life. It felt like 60 minutes. I should be on an episode of 60 minutes. My life would make a really entertaining t.v show. But I was actually really excited about my plank. I still kinda am because I remember like the very first planks I did were like 20 seconds. That's 3x longer AFTER a workout. I think I'm allowed 2 minutes on the brag boat after all I've done. Toooooot tooooooot, bitches.

Today's food choices haven't been fabulous because I was stress eating. But after the workout Jennifer and I went to Zoe's kitchen and I got chicken roll ups. And this is SO weird to me but I ate 2 of the 4 chicken roll ups and half of the pasta salad and I was full. My fat brain said "um hello. You just paid 8 dollars for this" and my you want to be skinny brain said "STOP EATING" so I told Jennifer and she took my plate haha. It's just weird having food left which this makes me sound like a grade A fatty but I'm just being honest. That's how this works, there's no point in writing this blog if I'm gonna lie and be like oh my gosh this is so awesome all the time and I never eat junk food ever and I've lost 500lbs in 5 months and its the easiest thing I've ever done. No. This is actually the hardest thing I've ever done and some days I don't know if I can do it. The scale isn't moving a lot these days but I feel stronger, which counts for something.

Anyways. When I get on Instagram I become an instacreep. Below are pictures I find funny. You're welcome. Oh and the butter picture is legit. That's at Walmart and its $2.36. Don't judge. I have a weird memory and I remember things that nobody else does, like the price of Christmas tree shaped butter at Walmart. Also. The picture of "why do i go to the gym" is legit and the story of my life. the man with the mullet should be on a "welcome to madison county" sign. Anyways. I'm gonna make like a banana and split. Hahahahaha. I really do think that's funny. Okay. Enough.

The day that never ends.

Where was I at 5:45 this morning? The gym. Doing week 2, day 1 of couch to 5k. So actively dying, is the short version of the story. On the last jogging interval, the last 15 seconds I bumped my speed up to 4.0, to prove to myself I was in fact, still very much alive. Though the lady next to me probably thought I was dying haha.

Working out so early has made this the longest day of my life.

So. Today's workout with Darin started out with some shoulder presses, which I do like. Though right now my arms are pretty iffy. That was followed by a superset of dead lifts and goblet squats. It was really great, said no one ever. 3 sets of 10 each which really isn't that much because there was time period where all we did the live long day was squats, which, I'm glad that's over. Then we did this 3 exercise merry go round of alternating toe touch crunches, the hulks and lateral raises. The hulks are still my jam even though they got sketch towards the end. Then we did some more crunches. Then. He was messing with a treadmill and he was like don't worry it's not for you, but this is and pointed to the elliptical. I was really hoping it was a joke, because Friday he made a joke about doing push ups but unfortunately it wasn't. I. Hate. Ellipticals. Seriously. They're just so stupid. I think other than a step mill, they're the dumbest machine ever made. On a scale of 1 - fuck this, they're a solid I hope this machine spontaneously catches on fire. We did like 5 sprint intervals. Read this though, while I really, really wanted to be like nope, no thank you, no gracias, niet, nuh huh, and sign the word no, I didn't. I did the best I could with what I had and did the damn sprint intervals. I am not sold on the greatness of the elliptical and I really don't care if I never have to climb on another one again. Then we did some weightless shoulder stuff that I aptly named in my head "the orchestra", "catching the bus" and the other was already named peek-a-boo, which don't let the names fool you. My shoulders weren't pleased haha. I name everything. My cars name is Hank, in case anyone was wondering.

Anyways. I will also say, I did really good with food choices today. For dinner I was gonna have chicken and corn again but I didn't want it. So I decided forget it I'll make a hot pocket. Bad news is, it was freezer burnt and gross. Then I wanted soup. It was gross as well. So I toasted a piece of wheat bread and put some peanut butter on it and am calling it a night. I am exhausted and I am so ill satan himself probably can't stand me. So. With that, I'm off to sleep. Hopefully for 12 hours. Goodnight world and all 3 faithful readers of my blog.

:)

The many faces of Nessie.

So, can we talk about how awesome today was? and by we, I mean I'm going to talk about it. I mean, there were a couple things I'd change but like I said last post, you win some, you lose some.

Just to clear up any confusion this blog will not be about the many faces of the Loch Ness monster. Everyone calls me Nessie. I mean so much so that even when I talk to myself sometimes (don't act like you don't do it) I call myself Nessie, Ness or if whatever I'm doing calls for me to think like a dinosaur, Nestar (ness-tar is how you say it, thanks to Natalie for that gem). Don't ask me what calls for me thinking like a dinosaur.

Also this is the second time I've typed this up. My first one got deleted. That goes on the "lost some" list today. That and my shoulder blade muscles being sore. I can't remember or spell what Darin told me they were. So shoulder blade muscles it is. Not sure how to fix it so obviously the answer is to lay in my bed all weekend.

I slept in, got up and watched boy meets world, then went to ab-tech (that was my first mistake) to read through some stuff while Rebecca was in class, then I went and worked out then met Myra and Denise out in Asheville. Also, I think I need to work on my "for the love of all that is good and holy SHUT UP" face, because apparently to the creep next to me in the open lab at gayb-tech, thought it looked a lot like my "tell me more" face. He kept talking about catching the bus. THEN GO CATCH IT. Please. I'm not good with awkward conversations with people I don't know.

Moving on to the workout which is obviously the point of this blog. Today was fabulous. We started out on the bike, which was fine by me because I really didn't feel like getting off of it. We did 5 sprint intervals, then slowed down. We did dumbbell flys, which are on the list of my favorite exercises, then this thing on the smith machine, which I really do need to step up the drama because apparently my "this is easy" face looks a lot like my "this is more challenging than I originally expected" face. The weight got increased every. single. set. Granted, the first two weren't exactly the heaviest things I've ever felt but they also weren't like I was using pillows for weights either. Though that would be fine too. Anyways, after that we did straight arm pulls and lat pull downs, also a crowd pleaser. and by crowd I mean me. Then we did bird dogs and dirty dogs, and can I just say that I'm not a canine. I have the coordination of a three legged donkey, and I just don't like anything I have to really think about (obviously). Then we ended the party with some step ups which was fine by me as long as I can still stand on the step at the end. I really do think it's fun haha. It's the little things.

Speaking of. Today I went to the mall to shop around for a few minutes because I have a problem. Anyways, I went to see my friend Jer at Gap, and I found this shirt I loved and kept eyeing it. I finally decided the worst that could happen was it wouldn't fit and I would keep my 20$. annnnnnnnd it fit. I literally cried in the dressing room I was so happy. It may be a small thing to some people but I haven't been able to wear clothes from Gap OR American Eagle but I can now. Which makes all this hard stuff worth it. That alone should make me go to boot camp tomorrow but I am just not feeling it. I feel like if I'm gonna go and not give 100% why go at all? I'm just going to be miserable for 45 minutes. That might be the wrong attitude but that's kinda how I feel right now. Also, my grandma is in the hospital again so I may just go stay with her for a while and do the couch to 5k + weights tomorrow at Mission's gym. I'm getting back on track this week with my food choices. I'm 2 pounds away from another goal! but anyways, that's enough rambling for one post. Below is the story of my life and my first (most likely of many) Gap shirts! :)

You win some, you lose some.

He's baaaaaack.

Lets see. Today. Well I was kinda a little out of it because before I got to O3, I started my online classes in Craneware which made me really sleepy. But anyways, today started out with a merry go round of dead lifts, push ups, and step ups on each leg. We did 3 rounds, 10 each on the first, then twelve, then fifteen. I still hate push ups. I hadn't done one since he left 9 days ago, and I didn't miss them haha. Also. I really like standing on the step after I'm done with step ups and such. It's kinda like I conquered the fat girls Mt.Everest. And I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be that tall. Then we did a go round of incline press, my favorite! then a seated row and body weight squats, which you win some you lose some. Then we did a 30 second plank and from the second it was go time I was shaking like crazy, then we were supposed to do 30 seconds of flutter kicks. Well my hip wasn't having it and I was trying to stretch and didn't quite understand what I was suppose to do and just ended up rolling around like I was on fire and practicing my stop drop and roll technique. But it stopped after, so thankfully I got to do 30 seconds of bicycle crunches. I don't remember if we did CPR crunches before or after but we got 15 of those in.

Tomorrow (or Saturday) I'm gonna do the 3rd day of C25k. Whoo. That's me being excited. Not really. I'm off work tomorrow and I am so excited about sleeping in. Jennifer wants to do the dirty girl mud run and some mountain 5k. That sounds like its uphill. And I think we all know by now that I'm not an uphill kinda girl. I'm more of a lay down and roll kinda girl.

Anyways. I'm off to study the wonderful world of uniform bill codes and some other stuff I don't understand. It's like I'm back in college. Speaking of. I may take classes in the spring and I can't decide if I want to take my PED credit as yoga, weight training, aerobics or tennis haha. There's a "fit and well for life" class but I think it's like 9th grade health class and I'm not interested in all that. I already know where babies come from. The stork. Anyways, that being said. I'm gonna make like a baby and head out.

I'm basically the funniest person I know.

Ok really. I'm out.

Running Rhinos.

Lets see. Where to begin.

Well, Jennifer, Becky and I started the couch to 5k program and it certainly is a lot more challenging than I expected. It would be a lot easier if I half assed it. But I feel like if/when we do an actual 5k, that would be the time it showed haha. I just needed a definite cardio program. Like left to my own devices I'm never gonna be like hey. Let me run/bike/elliptical it up for 30 minutes. I'm far too lazy for that mess. However, with the C25k app, there is no room for arguing. When Susan, that's what I named the girl on the app that says tells you what to so, says "begin running" you can't be like bitch it ain't time for that! Like I can when I'm bossing myself. We did day 2 today. This whole week is running for a minute and walking for a minute and a half. It's a 30 minute situation and I was fairly sure the following was going to happen today. #1. I was going to go in cardiac arrest and die. #2. The people in the waiting room below us probably thought a gaggle of rhinosaurus babies had been turned loose upstairs and it was like jumanji in real life and it was about to go down. But anyways. Long story short, C25k is a pretty neat app.

After all the above, Monday, Jennifer and I did a lot of leg stuff including the hack squat machine, lying leg curls, calf raises, seated leg extensions and curls. Then today we did arms/abs. Close grip pull downs, lat pull downs, chest press, these pulls with a rope handle and then we did ball raises/CPRs and then Jennifer suggested we end with a 30 second plank. It wasn't an April fools joke either haha. Over all it has been productive.

I'm also drinking almond milk which, what? I know. It kinda tastes a little like melted ice cream. It's not my everything on cereal, but I actually prefer it to regular milk elsewhere.

I'm beyond ready for the weekend, per my usual. Darin is back tomorrow, but I don't have a session till Thursday and Friday, so I may or may not take a break tomorrow from the gym and resume then. I don't know what evil, er, good times await Thursday upon my triumphant return to O3. I feel like the lady who manages missions gym probably thinks I'm nuts/really sporadic about choosing my gym times but whateva. Anyways. I've been wide open all day, so I think it's time to go to bed/lay down/spare my mom the trauma/blessing of my quick wit.

With that. I say adios bitchachos!

Safety first.

you know what they say. When the cat's away the mice will play. just kidding. the mice will go to the gym.

Thanksgiving. I actually wasn't living the fat lyfe (thanks to Jer for the spelling), and went to the gym on Thanksgiving. what?! i know. I actually did really good and I didn't eat a ton. Anyways no one else was in the entire gym, so I worked out for a little more than a hour. Which, I promptly ruined/negated when I ate a pack of poptarts about 8pm. lesson
learned. no poptarts in the house. If they aren't there, I can't eat them and God knows I'm too lazy to actually go somewhere to get a pack. But for those of you who are/aren't interested in what I did, I'll tell you. I warmed up on the bike (God forbid I get on an elliptical) and then did 3 sets of 12 of the following in pairs of
two. Otherwise known as supersets I think. Incline press with 15lbs, dumbbell flys with 8s, then a 45 degree lat pull down and a reverse grip pulldown (which, story on that in a second) with 60lbs, then I did lying leg curls with 25lbs (and that was plenty), seated leg extension with 45lbs (going from the lying leg curl to the seated extension within 10 seconds was a little dicey), then Romanian dead lifts with a 45lb bar and hack squats with 100lbs, then I did 3 sets of 12 medicine ball raises with a 12lb ball and alternating toe touch crunches. Then I was going to do a plank, then I decided, April fools! I'm going home. The RDLs and hack squats were kinda sketch. I decided do them as slow as I could possibly stand to do it, and I wasn't sure I wasn't going to blow groceries all over God's green creation. Which made me a little happy, oddly enough, to think that I would force myself to work at such an intensity that I would throw up and not have anyone to blame but myself. weird. anyways, so I wasn't sure if I dreamed this, done this at O3 or heard becky buckwild talk about it, but I was going to do those reverse grip pulldowns and if I'm gonna do something like that, I generally watch a youtube video about it first. So, I youtubed it and I won't name names, but the one I decided to watch had a few thousand hits so I was like this must be good. This jackass has a really heavy yankee accent and he had his shirt off. I'm sorry, you can't have your shirt on in the gym?! especially when there's a camera on you? you're so cool. That's what I was thinking while I watched it. That and now I can do this safely. Anyways, that trip to the gym was a success in my book.

So. I think we all know I have a Pinterest problem, as evidenced by my phone autocorrecting interest to Pinterest. And I had to increase my data package with Verizon. So I'm on it all the time and keep seeing these workouts that say like "burn 700 calories in 10 minutes". I'm sorry, unless you're sprinting backwards on a treadmill on like a 15 incline I doubt that is the case and even if you were I still doubt the validity of that. Anyways. When I go to the gym on my own now like on the weekends, my new project is to try these workouts I find and I will probably include my thoughts on them here. However. Today I met Jennifer and we did the gym workout Darin wrote for her. 120 body weight squats later I'm ready to cut my legs off. I did 15 minutes on the bike. 4 miles on a level 8 resistance (I generally keep it on a nice even 4) and I was sweating like a whore in church. Anyways, The way it went was 10 squats, 10 chest presses, 10 squats, 10 seated rows, 10 squats, 10 shoulder presses, 10 squats, 20 crunches. Repeated 3x with minimal rest. And by minimal I mean 45 seconds. Not sure if/when I will be repeating that. Never thought I would see the day I voluntarily did 120 squats. Ever.

But. The following picture is how I'll say goodbye for now :)

Less merry, more go round.

Today I'm going to focus on the good. And that is, today is over.

I'm not sure what's happening but I think this break from the gym is needed. And by gym I mean this 4 days a week of insanely intense thing I have going on that is finally catching up with me.

My attitude today wasn't the best. And by that I mean I'm rather surprised I didn't get slugged. In all fairness I deserved it. I let things get to me when they shouldn't and I accept that. We started out with a couple rounds of this step+kickback thing that made my butt hurt more than it did already. Then we did 3 really less than merry go rounds of kettle bell swings, push press and push ups. Fuck. This. Shit. Was actually what was going through my mind when I wasn't thinking about just saying fuck it, I'll be fat forever. Then after that, we did 3 point planks, shoulder taps, these push ups where you go down as slow as you can, and the transverse crunches. The push ups bothered me the most because at one point I literally couldn't get myself back up to do it again. And that embarrassed me. 2 rounds of that. On a 1-10 my anxiety was a raging 14. I could have crawled out of my skin and I'm not sure I'm not going to now. It's a miserable feeling that I can't shake. There was a lot less merry and more go rounds today. Which. I'll take the blame for that. Daddy always said your actions say more than your words ever could. I should have, in the words of my sweet friend Mary, suck it up buttercup! Lesson learned. The hard way, again. Do we see a pattern?

Jennifer and I have plans to go to the gym tomorrow. I've maintained for the last 2 weeks or so, and haven't lost anymore weight which sucks but I know it's because my eating has went from nice, planned out and somewhat healthy to just whatever I can find at work. I know a few bad days can't ruin this lifestyle change but I feel like I'm just not with it anymore. I'm not sure what to do because I feel like I'm wasting my time as well as Darin and Jennifer's because I'm not doing what I should be the other 23 hours a day I'm not at the gym. If I were them I would probably cut my losses and call it a better day haha. Less drama!

I won't see Darin until next Thursday, due to schedules and vacations. So I'll probably blog once or so towards the end of the week basically just to keep myself halfway accountable so I don't just lay on my couch all week, even though that sounds like a great plan right now.

All I know is that right now, I'm just going to bed and when I wake up, today will be the past and it will be a new day. And then I'm off work Thursday haha. Bad news is, pretty sure I'm developing an ear ache. I'd rather avoid staff health if at all possible. Oh well. We'll see what happens.

Monday funday.

Well. Here's the thing. Today has not been monday funday. That's an oxymoron. Today has been a hot mess at best and I'm just ready to go to bed. I may or may not drop a few or 725 f-bombs tonight. First and only warning. Work was alright, and then I dropped Becky off for her workout and decided I would make a trip to hamricks and get some boots I've been eyeing for a week. I ended up getting pulled over, no ticket thank god but apparently driving without your shoes, without your license and speeding-ish is frowned upon by law enforcement. Lesson learned. Get better at watching my surroundings. Seriously though, unless driving without your shoes is against the law (and apparently it isn't) don't waste your breath telling me how bad it is, skippy. I've done it since I was 16, and I'm still alive and kickin.

Moving on, Zac Brown could sing a song full of bad words (or the language I use on a daily basis according to my mom) and it would still be beautiful.

Okay. On topic. We did a dynamic warm up today with the lunges, total body extension, these windmill type things and a plank. Fuck all of the above. Especially the total body extensions and lunges. Then we did supersets of close grip pull downs and the incline press. After one round the weight got increased. Apparently, Brett Michaels sings the "nothing but a good time" song by poison so thats over. I kinda hate Brett. He's like 60 and needs to stop wearing eyeliner. I know what you're thinking. Oh no, now he will never be a famous musician. But really. My white trash radar was blaring and it's only that loud when I'm hanging out with Rebecca. I'm beyond rude tonight. Ok. Then we did the hulks and these things that reminded me of a teradactyl trying to take flight, but I didn't hate them. That was the end of the "I didn't hate them" for the day. I generally try to have a good attitude because I'm paying pretty good money to workout and Darin knows what he's talking about and what works obviously so I try to just tell myself like I do at the dentist, that it will be over soon. But then we did plié squats with a heavy ass kettlebell and then some step ups with 15lb weights. Darin also asked me if I remembered when we started out every session with the step+a kettlebell for squats and such. Um that's engrained my memory forever and I would rather lay down on the west-gate bridge at 530 on Friday than do that again. He graciously mentioned if I wanted we could do that again. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to sufficiently respond to that. Then after 2 rounds of that, we and by we I mean me, did 2 rounds of bridges on the step and then 5 split squats on each leg. Let me say this. F u c k that. Split squats hurt my legs basically to the bone. Like its a different kind of sore the next day, it's deeper. I considered offering my first born to just cut those out of the workouts permanently but as mom tells me "I'm not Monty Hall and this isn't 'lets make a deal'" and I just figured it was best to shut up and move on. Darin asked if they hurt my ankle (my bionic ankle that is) and if I was a real asshead I would lie and say yes. But I'm not and I didn't. Well. In this scenario I wasn't an asshead haha. I really just am over them and we've done them twice. They're the new squats and sadly squats haven't gone away. I just want to do upper body and move on. No cardio either. If only I lived in my dream world.

I'm so tired. I need a break. I thought about working thanksgiving and skipping what I call the thanksgiving day tour of 2012, but now I'm thinking of taking Thursday and Friday. Buuuut time and half for thanksgiving is pretty good money. We'll see how the rest of the week pans out.

Anyways. I'm off to stand in the shower for a while if I can get my lard ass off the couch. Which may not happen. Washing my hair may be out of the question. I did a lot of arm stuff at the gym Sunday and now I'm sore all over. Which is a great recipe for success at the gym. Anyways. That's all for this installment of maybe you should learn what lean cuisine meals are, tubby. Tune in tomorrow to see what else I can find to bitch about.

Lesson learned.

Lesson learned. The hard way (that seems to be the only way I learn anything) 4.5 hours of sleep is not nearly enough to function and work out. When I do finally get to sleep tonight it will be game over for about 15-18 hours. I don't really care if Santa Claus himself were teaching boot camp tomorrow, I will not be in attendance.

We kicked off the party with a less than stellar round of side lunges, total body extensions, a 30 second plank, squats and alternating toe touch crunches. We repeated that 2x through, though at one point we did mountain climbers, and I don't know what else because I'm verging on delirious. After that my hair was tore up from the floor up. I really should have never gotten it cut. Yes. I'm still talking about that. Anyways, Then we did some Romanian dead lifts. Which I will say doing them slower (I have a tendency to do things as fast as I talk when I need to slow down) makes them not so much fun anymore. Speaking of not so fun, lets talk about 3 sets of 10 split squats. My legs feel like jello and when I was walking out to my car, I stepped off the curb and had I not caught myself on the hood of my car, it would have been a bad day to be me. My legs are so shaky, and if there is one thing I hate in life other than squats and corn dogs, it's my legs feeling like jello. My upper body is really, really sore. I never knew how much I shrugged my shoulders during the day (a very professional behavior I might add) but today when I shrug them they shake. Like my muscles are fatigued and at any moment I might become paralyzed. I really don't know what I'm saying. Help. Rebecca and I stopped on the way home to pick up a pizza for my dad, and about that I time I got out of the car and threw up a nice mix of blue Gatorade and water. Issue is, it's my fault haha I hadn't drank a drop of water basically all day and I didn't drink a ton during the workout and then when I got in the car I pounded back all of Rebecca's Gatorade and all my water. It didn't set well to say the least. During today's workout I did get a nice music And movie lesson. Turns out, I haven't seen many movies and my joke of "everything I should know, I do know" isn't actually true. Not that it was all that true to begin with but my "yo se nada" is more accurate. I may not be able to name a Metallica song within the first 5 seconds of the song (or name a Metallica song at all) but I can any Ke$ha song. Or the script. They're my FAVORITE band. They haven't done a song I don't like.

Was the movie worth all this? Hell yes. But I will say there is a reason I don't do midnight premieres often. I'm too old for this mess and it ruins my ability to function. We are doing an office thanksgiving on Monday and I'm so excited to try out some Pinterest recipes. I mean. I will only be making healthy food. Okay that's sarcasm. Even though I told Darin today I may not go to the gym for the entire week I have off from O3 because of Thanksgiving, I obviously will.

Anyways. I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz. just kidding. I'm in Madison county at my dads. And that's all I think I have to say for now. I'm out!

I miss my couch.

So, today wasn't my best day as I've been slower than a slug in molasses. My legs are aching like a tooth ache. I take back my "I could do this all day" from Monday because the insides of my legs hurt and the backs of my legs do too. I don't want to play anymore games of any kind. Except candy land because I'm a BOSS at it. Anyways I text Darin and asked if I could just give Jennifer this session and cut my losses. He didn't say no, per se. But he didn't say yes haha. I ended up going because I told myself "Nessie. You're being a baby. Suck. It. Up." So I did, and it was a good call because while today was far from easy, it was at least fun. We did upper body which is my favorite. We did 3 point rows to start with. Jennifer had asked about the incline bench cable fly thing she tried at missions gym and so we did that and a close grip pull down in a superset. Those cable fly things blow harder than a 2 dollar whore on nickel night, if you want to know how I really feel. Really. I don't know why they're that much harder than regular incline flys. I complain about a lot and then find them being incorporated in my weekend workouts on Sundays. Those can go to hell, where they obviously came from. Then we did these other shoulder things that made me think we were trying out for a cheerleading team for the mentally handicapped. They would have some strong shoulders with that routine. Then we did a standing row and incline press. Which were my jams though I thought the weight increased on the row and it didn't. My bad. The only major complaint I have other than the incline cable fly is push ups and body weight rows. The push up bar was entirely too low for my liking, and my arms were tired. Oh and I hate push ups. I'm trying to censor myself for my sensitive readers. Apparently "ladies" don't drop the f-bomb as much as I do. Overall though I really am glad I didn't skip out to go lay on my couch and watch tv which is precisely what I would have done. I miss the days of laying on my couch without a care in the world haha.

I have a problem. A shopping problem. Instead of eating when I'm upset I've moved to buying boots, sweater dresses, tights and scarves. I mean. At least I'll be pretty. The universe made a mistake. I'm supposed to be a princess. Though. I was listening to pandora today and one of my favorite Lee Brice songs came on and it is the story of my life. "She's got her daddy's tongue and temper, sometimes her mouth could use a filter, God shook his head the day he built her, but oh I bet he smiled." Only correction, all the time my mouth could use a filter. All the time.

Today was 8/8 and we renewed again haha. As my papaw wade used to say "girl you are glutton for punishment" (I think that's how it goes). I just need to be skinny. Yesterday. I keep gaining and losing the same 2 pounds again because I can't get it together. This is a vicious cycle.

The best news of all though is that I'm about to leave to go meet Jer, Jennifer and Shaun to watch the 1240 premiere of breaking dawn part 2. Nothing like waiting till the last minute to get tickets! I. Am. So. Excited.

Below are shirts I will have soon. Soon.

That's all I have for today. Here's to hoping I can run on 4 hours of sleep tomorrow!

:)

Suffering, death and dying.

It is completely 100% possible and probable that I am actively dying.

An overly dramatic title? Eh. I think we know by now drama should be my middle name, instead of Kaitlin.

See. Get this. So I wake up this morning and I was fine. Nothing was sore, I felt like I did when I woke up Monday morning and I was actually a little disappointed because I felt like I worked hard yesterday. So. I decide to take this as a win, and move on. Well. About 2ish, I get up from my desk to get more water and I'm like um ow. What the hell is happening?! My legs were sore, well I think a better word is tight. Anyways, I get to O3 and climb on the bike, and I pedaled 3.4 miles in 10 minutes on like a level 4 resistance. Then. The real fun began. We did 50/10 timing. Let me hit you with that again. Fifty seconds of work. 10 seconds of rest. We did these side lunges with a hop in between. Then we did total body extensions. Then we did high knees. Then we did a 50 second low plank and not one time did my knees hit the ground. That was basically my biggest accomplishment other than not dying today. Then we did some squats. More. Squats. I really don't care if I never do another squat, lunge, total body extension, any leg exercise ever again. So after that we did another 50 seconds of the lunges with the hop. Then he said, one of you on the bike and the other on the elliptical. I claimed the bike before Jennifer even had a chance. Then we did some sprint intervals. Whooooo. Sprints. Then he got the steps out and we did another 2 merry go rounds of lateral hops, step negatives on each leg and then we did these other things where you basically just got on it and off it as fast as you could. If you thought that was the end, you, like I would be wrong. Then Darin said for me to get on the elliptical and Jennifer on the bike and I would rather die. Listen. There is a reason my big ass hasn't even looked at the elliptical at O3. I. Hate. Them. Like, I really can't even begin to get across how ridiculous they are. I would 100,000 times rather do any other cardio equipment. Thats in all seriousness. We did more sprint intervals. How I'm not dead is beyond me. Really.

When I was on the elliptical, I was clock watching and they have a clock on every wall at the gym. The one on the wall facing me stopped at 425 and I thought it was only 425 and I literally would have cried had that been right. Darin tried to tell me it was but I finally craned my neck enough to see it was like 450. I KNEW I had been there longer than 25 minutes. Also, I basically became a straight up dumbass at one point when he asked us to take our heart rates. I would count to 10 and then start over. I tried like 3 times until Jennifer just did it for me.

If right now is any indication at ALL how I'm gonna feel tomorrow, I give up. I just want to stay in my bed and eat chips and read. Know what I want other than a pop tart? An almond joy. Know what I'm having? A fat free fig newton. Why? because all my joy has been stolen today. HA. Just kidding. Sometimes I just can't stop myself. Anyways. Not that fig newtons are in any way superior to an almond joy, but in my mind one of those small cookies is better than that candy bar. Ohhhhhhhhh my life. Though I've actually done okay with my food choices. Jennifer and I went to Zoe's kitchen after our workout and I got chicken roll ups. They're my jam but I can never eat them all.

Anyways. It's 7pm and obviously past my bedtime. Below are pictures I find funny. Yes, they came from Pinterest. Also. I know some of them are 100% inappropriate and or offensive, but I've laughed for days at a few of them and If you're easily offended I suggest you take it elsewhere. That dog, is the one I want. He's a corgi and I would name him Romeo or Santos. I would carry him around with me everywhere.

Also. Rebecca is trying to get me to let her do a step test on me. I'd rather throw up and eat it again.

Good news is, no workout tomorrow and I plan to be as lazy as possible. Except I have to work. Ugh.

So that's all the bitching I have in me for today. I'm really going to bed.

Ps. You win, Darin. You. Win.

Legs, legs and more legs.

It's official. I have an iTunes problem. But is it really a problem if I'm okay with it? I listen to music all day at work, so obviously I need new music every so often. And by every so often I mean close to every day.

I got on the bike to warm up, which that wasn't the best choice as unbeknownst to me, today was leg day. And there was no rejoicing. Really. Who likes leg workouts? No one. That's who. Darin wasn't just whistlin' Dixie when he said I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow. We started out with plié squats, and it was awesome. Said no one ever. Then we did this weird thing where I attached these things to my ankles and stood on a plate weight and he attached a cable to my ankle and then you bent your leg. It set the back of my legs on fiyahh. Then we did some Romanian dead lifts which, I don't know what was different this time but at the end of the second set my legs felt a little shakey. Then Darin says we're gonna play a game and I asked if it was like the Saw movies "you wanna play game" thing. Legit question. But no, I stood like 5-6 feet ish away and he slid the weight to me and I used my feet to push it back. Apparently it was supposed to work the adductors in my legs. Which, I didn't feel anything but it could be delayed. That's happened before. But the second round we used a bigger weight and I said I could do this all day, and he said he couldn't and before I could help myself the snark came out and I was like because you're old. Yeah, I'm an asshole sometimes, lets take our shocked faces off. The Darin ever so helpfully reminded me it wasn't the best idea to be talking shit to the man who holds your fate for the next 15 minutes. Which, valid point. Then, oddly enough, we did more squats. Not just any squats, a squat and curl with a kettlebell. You squat, do a curl, then come back up. So they're approximately 328,995 times worse than a regular squat. I'm trying to decide if I feel like that was payback for my snark or not. Either way, well played. Then he had one more trick up his sleeve. Offset Romanian dead lifts. Fuck my liiiiiiife. That was my first thought. Really. Like I'm generally sore for daysssss after those. I got 5 in on each side before that was all she wrote. I actually wasn't sure I could stand up after that but luckily we stretched on the ground haha. Things are sketchy at the time of this writing, I'm not sure I can get off my couch which only means tomorrow morning will be fabulous.

Today at work, I kinda got blind sided that I had to finish a Power Point I really hadn't started at like 8am today. So today was stressful to say the least but I was actually less stressed when I left the gym today. Which surprised me as I was ready to just quit everything last night/this morning. I was thiiiiis close to texting Darin and saying I was sick today. While in the morning I will probably not be happy, right now I'm glad I went. I know I say it a lot but I just am so annoyed that I've lost 52lbs and I can't tell a difference. Jennifer looks great and here I am. Whale a palooza, that's my life. Oh well. I mean, there is no point in giving up now when I've done so good for so long. I'm also afraid I have sleep apnea and that pisses me off. I didn't have this problem when I was being the sedentary half ton teen but when I start changing for the better, this happens. Like the last 3 weeks I've been waking up 38283 times a night for no reason (or so i thought) and Saturday, I fell asleep sitting straight up after boot camp and I woke up twice and physically felt like I couldn't take a breath. I don't want to go see dr Moore because he's gonna say do a sleep study and I don't want to. I'm an avoider, I know that. I also avoid games of rock, paper, scissors.

Anyways. I'm off to Narnia. Also known as my room then to shower. Mom says I can get a inside dog when I clean my room. I'm am immortal child apparently. Stuck forever at 12 years old. The immortal child reference is in honor of the Breaking Dawn part 2 coming out Thursday night. Well. 12:01 Friday morning. I smell a midnight premiere, as usual :) especially because I'm off work Friday! Thank God.

Here's to hoping I can walk tomorrow. But I really do think that's wishful thinking.

\m/(o.O)\m/

See it? The rock on thing?! I just remembered how to do that. Okay. Really. Shower. Bye.

:)