new year, same sass.

CHRISTMAS IS OVER YA'LL. For Christmas I got a shit ton of makeup and money (my two favorite things) but sleeping past 6am was the best gift of all.

Moving on to more important things, my dashboard for this blog shows me how many times I blogged in each year, and in 2012 I blogged 88 times. This year it's less than 10, so whoops. But when I read back on some of my posts, I noticed a couple things.

1. I was incredibly hard on myself.
2. I was also incredibly mean to myself.
3. I whined about push-ups a LOT. and squats.
4. I ramble. 
5. I learned a lot. 

I guess with age comes wisdom or whatever the fuck they say (who is "they" anyways?) but I've been trying to lose weight for a little over 5 weeks now. I've lost 12 pounds and I didn't change a whole lot. I went without any kind of pop (when I say "I went without coke" it sounds a lot like I'm talking about cocaine) of any kind. I had some Dr.Pepper a couple days ago but that's been it. My current plan for everything has been kind of a "do the best you can without driving yourself bat shit crazy trying to be perfect" approach. So far so good. I went to the gym and did cardio, have yet to pick up a weight, I don't know if it's because I go to the gym at peak hours and I'm intimated and anxious in a large space with a lot of people or just because I don't want to. I do have a lot more restrictions on what I can do weight-wise with my back the way it is. No mas deadlifts is rule numero uno per my neurosurgeon. If this was 5 years ago I'd probably say fuck it but I've felt the pain that's associated with not doing what you're told. I'm not as hardcore/stupid as I used to be. I'm still debating the weight loss surgery. We'll see though. I ordered myself a nice christmas gift of a polar ft4 in lime green, it was a solid 30 dollars difference between that and the pink one and idgaf about the color. I also got some salted caramel protein, hoping that it doesn't taste like salty ass. 

I start classes 1/9 and also a new job. I took a job with Asheville Gastro doing claims management aka what I've been doing the last almost 4 years until I took this job. I'm thinking that between juggling 2 (maybe 3) classes on subject matter I don't know much about with working 40 hours plus trying to get back on my weight loss grind, well, things may get tricky. Time management hasn't been my forte but I guess like everything else, I'm gonna learn how to get good at that too. 

So with the new year fast approaching I've been thinking. I don't know if I have resolutions because I'm still the same sassy bitch everyone has come to know and love over the last 5 years. I don't see that changing anytime soon but I do have some more short term goals. They are as follows;

1. Have fun. don't make this a drag or a huge source of stress (that's what college is for)
2. Be happy. don't let little things control so much of your day.
3. Be smart.  work smarter AND harder. You don't get the ass you want by sitting on the one you have. 
4.  3a (i can't make this format change so 4.3a is now officially a number) Stop attending every argument I'm invited to. Be smart about who I choose to engage with. If we're friends on facebook you probably saw where I spent a decent portion of a day arguing over hb2. I let myself get a lot more riled up over it than I should have, but if you've known me for any length of time you know that I am incredibly opinionated and passionate about what I believe in. So 2017 will be a year of chill. 

that also equates to losing 50 pounds this year and getting back out of the pre-diabetes range. At my lowest weight my fasting glucose was 73. Right now (by that I mean like back in April) it was 98. 

So nothing super exciting happening here except everything changing all at once and I'm trying to prepare myself for that. It's about to be 2017, the year of massive weight loss, healthy habits and 4.0 GPAs.  My first instinct, just so yall know, is to say "when pigs fly" to that 4.0 GPA but I'm smart AF, I just have to actually do the work...which also applies to the weight loss thing. 

Anywhoozle, I'm off to pack my gym bag and get ready for an exciting week of werk werk werk werk werk. 

xoxo,

Vanessa 

here we go again

Hello from North Carolina!

SO MANY THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

1. Fuck Donald Trump. He's literally the worst. My predictions for the next four years include a lot of scandals and wars because this Cheeto Hitler can't handle his own twitter account. He's too busy tweeting about how the theater kids are talking to Mike Pence and SNL is making fun of him. Here's a thought, don't give them so much material you igorant fuckface.

2. I'm going back to school. Back to school, back to school, to prove to dad I'm not a fool... jk it has nothing to do with my parents and everything to do with me being sick of healthcare. Digital Media Technology will be my new program. It seems to be a mix of software development, graphic design and my electives are likely going to be marketing classes. I'm doing two online classes starting in January because I want to avoid going to actual school for as long as possible.

3. I'm having weight loss surgery. I've been thinking about this for a while and talked over everything with my favorite Lindsay. I went to the seminar and signed up, my first real appointment is in January because that's when my deductible and out of pocket costs start over and i'm sure as fuck not paying all this money in December to have it count for nothing in January. I've been actively trying to lose weight because Mission's program makes you lose 5 percent of your weight before they schedule the procedure. I decided on the sleeve instead of gastric bypass, and I'm super nervous and excited about it all. I haven't had any carbonated drinks including diet in almost 2 weeks. I've replaced breakfast with a protein shake, lunch too. Dinner is just a whatever I feel like as long as portions are reasonable. I've lost 10ish pounds but today was a shit show. I'm an emotional eater, but tomorrow will be better. I'm trying to stop with the all in or all out mentality. I'm going to start throwing in 20 minutes, 3x a week, cardio sessions and go from there. Maybe do some lifting if I'm feeling froggy.

4. My mama has cancer. Also fyi tihs list is in no order of importance, duh. Breast cancer, she starts chemo on the 15th. She's going to be just fine, but it's just weird to hear that your mom as cancer. You hear about it happening to other people but you never imagine it to be your own mom.

That's pretty much it. It seems like a lot when I write it out and it is, i guess, but I feel like this is the norm for me. Busy, insane and scary. I'm the same old Nessie I've always been tho, sassy as fuck, obsessing over calories and spending too much time on instagram.

See ya when I see ya, internet friends <3