All we do is push ups.

oh hayyy y'all/the 3 of you who read this epic piece of literature. well. I use the term literature loosely. Let's recap the last few days events, shall we? rhetorical question. boom.

Friday's workout got cut a wee bit short due to the fact the world started spinning and I wasn't sure there wasn't going to be a sequel to "nessie takes a tumble" I'm not really sure why, exactly, I got dizzy because it wasn't like I was working at 10x more intensity than I normally operate. I blame the push ups. I hate push ups. all we do is push ups. really.

Boot camp this morning, to be blunt, was quite the bitch. High plank, low plank, lunge and slam, overhead slams, sotts/sucks press (more on that in a minute), cleans and press, push ups, inverted rows, step ups, and sumo KB dead lift. Everything was ever so carefully divided up by 2s, and it was 40/20 timing. No bueno. I'm not sure how you can put those in to an order that doesn't make you want to kill yourself with a kettlebell. You just can't. It, much like my math skills, is/are impossible. The sotts/sucks press works like this. 2 dumbbells in your hands. I used 5s. you do a squat, then while you're in the squat, you push the weight up, and complete the squat. It sounds simple. Give it a whirl. one time. I dare you. It's 100% the most unnatural thing in the world. I don't know why but shoulder presses when you're kneeling/lower to the ground are a LOT harder and very unnatural. Plus let's not overlook the fact that I hate squats in the first place. I also have the coordination of Helen Keller herself, so the lunge and slam was more like a step-back-try-not-to-fall-lunge-hurry-up-and-throw-this-damn-ball-so-this-will-be-over kind of thing. Which brings me to push ups. I'm on a roll this morning. Here at ACTSO, my goal is to get healthy eventually and learn to sustain a lifestyle that doesn't include mountain dew all while providing some entertainment to those closest to me. I haven't been quiet (at all) about my distaste for squats and now push ups. Which, actually have taken the #1 spot on my "I would rather jump off a cliff in to a pool of hot lava" than do this exercise. I'm a weakling. I'm the first to admit I suck at math/counting my own reps, geography, science, squats and push ups. So yes, I'm aware that the exercises I hate are the ones I'm bad at, but alas, before ya'll get all Freud on me (I dont know what I'm saying, I just remember that name from the general psych class I took in high school....ab-tech is very aptly named "Harvard on the hill" or, 13th grade) not only do I suck at them, they're just stupid. Why the fuck would anyone want to be like, hey. I'm gonna lay down and push myself up off the ground 100 times in a row. That will surely be fun. Or, hey. Know what I'm gonna do today? I'm going to squat down towards the ground like I don't have indoor plumbing, then get up. Sometimes I'm going to hold a ton of weight while I do it, just to make things interesting. That way if I'm ever in the woods and I need to buddy carry my 500lb friend to safety because a bear is chasing us and I have to answer nature's call, I'll be good to go. No. Just no. Which, if you're still reading this I think you're thinking the same thing about my logic...which, fair. But as well know, reasonable isn't really my speciality. snark and sass are. In case you're wondering, My list goes #1 pushups, #2 squats (any kind minus overhead, those were my favorite at crossfit and that fuck this status also goes for the stupid sotts press) #3 surrenders, #4 woodchoppers and #5 dead lifts. yeahhhhhhhh. over those too. Hey ya'll watch me pick up this ridiculous amount of weight and put it down. Read that in the most redneck voice you can muster.Anyways, I think I've bitched enough for one post. I'm also not completely unaware than 75lbs gone and the fact that I actually participated and halfway did okay during today's boot camp is no small feat. Progress has been made, but I would be happier if I didn't feel so much like death is imminent. I had EVERY intention of rolling over this morning and not going to boot camp. Good choice at the moment. We'll see what tomorrow morning is like.

Also, the past couple of workouts I've felt a lot weaker (in general) than I have before and when I got home and actually opened my mail, I think I've found the culprit. I had a doctors appointment Wednesday and had blood drawn (finger gun to the head) and I'm anemic, my white count is high and my RBC count is low. So, I'm gonna continue to take the iron supplement I take, but we'll see what happens. Darin said take tomorrow off from the gym and let's be clear, you don't really need to tell me that twice, especially these days. Tomorrow will instead be used for grocery shopping, playing hee haw with the fuck around gang and the like. If yall haven't figured out by now, I'm super weird, and got the idea that since I love ice cream so much and now, weirdly enough I effin love greek yogurt (which let's be clear, I never thought I'd see that day) that I could recreate my favorite flavors with yogurt and in a much healthier way. Like my FAVORITE ice cream ever is pineapple coconut haggen daz or whatever the french name is for expensive as shit ice cream, so I'm hoping that putting coconut flakes and pineapple chunks in vanilla greek yogurt will have somewhat of the same taste....I mean I'm not completely retarded and it won't taste as yummy, but a close second will do. When/if that happens (most likely Sunday night/Monday morning) I will be posting it on Instagram, so be on the lookout (VKFreeman is my name for those losers among us not following me. Yes it's a very original username, too)

So. There you have it. I've rambled enough and you've wasted enough of your day reading this slightly less than informative blog about how bad I am at exercising and life without mountain dew. Check back next week for more sass and snark than one blog should ever have. I'm out!