Pushing it.

Hello world/my 3 faithful readers.

I'm gonna need someone to teach me to like leg exercises. Because I'd rather chew some tin foil than do a single squat. Or push ups. I hate them too. I read online that "modified" push-ups are like pushing 60% of your body weight. Do we know what 60% of 1,000 pounds is? A lot. I'm really bad at math, so I'm not guessing but yes I'm insinuating I weigh as much as a small cow. I actually have no idea how much a cow weighs. I'm just REALLY tired and I hate push ups. All we do is push ups. In today's first merry go round we did dead lifts, some kind of high pull, these weird push ups where you make it take like 5 seconds to let yourself down and step ups. I. Hate. Push-ups. They're so stupid. They even earned a spot in my top 5 exercises I'd almost rather commit suicide than do. Really. Anyways, we did some lat pull downs and plié squats. I also need to work on my facial expressions. I end up with more weight than i'd like because I basically look like I'm not trying. Untrue. I'm still a weakling. If zombies ever attack us I will most likely be the first to die. Anyways. Then we got one set of leg lifts and crunches in before my back started hurting. Idk what I've done but it's really annoying. Like. Hey maybe for once my back could not be hunch back of Notre Dame status. Really. It's been 11 years, time to stop giving me complications. I walked up to subway while I waited on Rebecca and got some ice. I laid in my car and instagrammed/reread catching fire and iced my back. Now if I wasn't so lazy I would probably repeat that process. But we all know I'm slower than a slug in molasses. Which. That sounds pretty delish right now. Not the slug, I don't eat French food. I mean molasses.

I'm off work until Monday! My blood pressure has been running super high in case anyone was wondering. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow at 1:30 to discuss what we can do about that and the fact I'm sleeping like 5 hours a night. Hopefully once I get that under control I can get it to together and start going back to the gym on a regular basis and getting shit done. I found a workout I'm gonna try called "ARMaggedon" haha. I think it's clever. But I'm simple. Speaking of. I tried bedtime yoga I found on the google. It said try to not think of anything for 30-45 seconds a time. That worked for about 10 seconds of less. The following statements came from my "don't think, just breathe" moments::
am I doing this right? Well now you're not. Shut up and breathe. I breathe loud. I cough a lot so I'm wondering if I have exercise induced asthma. Or tuberculosis? Shut. Up. Ok. Inhale. Stop telling yourself to breathe its a natural thing. The "deception" skittles are appropriately named. Stop. Inhale. Exhale. See? This is easy. Remember that time that creepy boy at AB tech stole your iPod then wanted you to meet him? You passed Spanish that semester. Silencio. VANESSA.

Then I just gave up. I'm SO A.D.D. I just can't be still and shut myself up. That's a glimpse in to what I think about when I try not to think at all. Am I weird? You bet. But I felt somewhat better when I decided that 10 minutes was WAYYY too long to start with. I'm gonna shoot for a minute of silence tonight and see what I get.

Anyways, it's basically past my bedtime y'all. So with that, I'm ouuuut. ✌