when we last left off, I was being a sad sally and hating life. Not a ton has changed except now I have somewhat of a plan. To get my calorie count up with minimal complaining on my end, temporarily I will be eating 2 tablespoons of peanut butter twice a day. yesss. I'm already planning on what kind I want to eat haha. I also decided that since I'm a weirdo and I honestly dont FEEL like I've changed that much, I should do something to prove to myself that I have, also while setting a new....well, I don't like the word "goal" because I'm weird, surprise, we'll go with the word idea... the color run in October, and then next year... a tough mudder. what? I don't know though. It looks, well....er...tough for lack of a better word. You can do a 10 or 12 mile, and they have all kinds of INSANE obstacles but I think it would be a good thing to shoot for. BUT, I'm going to try a 5k first before committing to the tough mudder. Speaking of trying....tomorrow I'm either going to do C25K and then "Kundalini yoga" or do a spin class in the morning. I'm not sure which. I also saw a thing on instagram that said "find joy in the journey", which I liked. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and suck it up. I eventually will get to where I need to be, it just may not be as fast as I'd like. But there's no sense in wasting today and not being happy until I get to where I "need" (want) to be. Who says happiness will be automatic when I do see a certain number on the scale? I refuse to waste the next year of my life wishing for the future.
Today's workout was fabulous, sans the push ups. All we do is push ups. I'm kinda not sure if I should even mention the next part but whatever. I haven't done a single squat in the past 3 sessions. HALLELUJAH. I honestly can't even tell you how happy that makes me. Well, those of you who read this work of pure genius on a regular basis, know how much I hate them. But I'm thinking this short reprieve, however short it may be, may have taken the hate scale down a few notches from a solid "fuck this" to a "I would rather slit my wrist superficially"...maybe. Today was a lot of back stuff and pull downs and some hulks. This may be off topic but I've considered taking some legit progress pictures....because I don't really have any....of any kind. Mostly because I'd rather go to the dentist than have my picture taken...but I'd also like to be able to see any changes that happen month to month...ahhhh. I suck at decisions and commitments...which. Darin suggested/encouraged me to go ahead and register for the color run. But what if I decide I don't want to do it? what If no one does it with me? I can't go to Charlotte alone. I'm just a baby. Just kidding I'm 23. But really. What if I can't run 3 miles in 7 months? what if I don't like running on a regular basis? you can't bike the color run. Toooooo much to think about. Um also right now my iPod thinks I want to get married because it's played about 5 songs about getting married and having babies. Just in case ya'll were wondering what I'm listening to right now. "Marry me" by Train is playing. Well. Not anymore thanks to the wondrous invention of the "next" button.
Also. Today was the first time in roughly 8 years that I bought a pair of shorts. 2 pairs, actually. Running shorts. One pair from old gravy(navy) and one pair from tarjay(target). I was elated that I not only fit in them, but they were functional. Like I did a squat and some high knees in the dressing room to see if they were going to be worth it annnnnnnd they were. My legs still look like the hood of a white Ford truck after a hail storm, but I'm just going to the gym, not the prom. So, I'm cool with it...for now. I haven't worn shorts in public in, like I said, about 8 years so I will most likely bring a back up pair of crops/yoga pants. Always have an out. That's my motto. That and never take your pants off in an uncomfortable situation but that's another story for another day.
Well, that's all I have for today. The scale still hasn't moved, but it will. Soon. I can feel it. Even if I have to move it myself. Out the bathroom window or with a Louisville slugger. Either way. Something will happen this weekend. stay tuned for pictures on instagram....also, if you're a loser and not following me, well, let's do something about that. @VKFreeman!
p.s. GO WATCH TWILIGHT, DARIN. seriously.
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