happily ever after. or not.

well it's been a hot minute since I've entertained you all with the shit show that is my life.

So far, the last 3 weeks have been just that, a shit show. I've fallen off the wagon, hard. I wish this is where I could tell you all, my 4 faithful readers, that I'm doing excellent and I'm going to the gym all the live long day and I'm drinking protein shakes and living happily ever after. Uh no. Speaking of that wagon well actually the wagon ran me over and has most likely made it's way to Ohio by now. Whatever. It's a new week and I've done better-ish. I think the hardest part of this is like the zero accountability part. like, no one knows if I've not gone to the gym. I try not to spam up everyone's feed every day with pictures of my heart rate monitor and an inspirational quote. I do make an effort. So let's not take gym attendance via instagram. Anyways, like I was saying no one knows if I even go to the gym and when I do get there, if I do what I'm supposed to do. Pushing myself the way I know I should is a lot harder too. Also, cardio blows. I hate the days I just have sprint intervals. I just got an update to the plan yesterday, which involves 10 minutes of intervals then 15 minutes of steady state post workout now. I'll try to hide my excitement. is it working? no? fair. My goal was to lose 12-14 pounds this summer and have lost 100lbs by the end of summer. Wellllllllllllllllllllll I'm not sure that's going to happen. It just seems like I can't get it together. If I'm working out like I should be, my eating goes all to hell and it's too much or too little or not enough good stuff or if I'm eating like I should be, I'm half assing workouts to say I've done them. Even though I know I'm not getting myself anywhere closer to my goals. Ugh. One thing at a time.

I will say that Darin has been excellent at making adjustments as necessary. For 2 weeks, two looongggg weeks there was a front squat/push up super set. Yeahhhhhhhhh. I think I bitched enough via email he finally took pity on me and removed it. I might be almost 24 but I am still super immature about things I don't want to do. The patrons of the YWCA will probs be happy now they won't be witnessing the slamming of the barbell, incessant vulgarities and threats of suicide and homicide, at least on hip dominant leg day. I'm also going to petition for a nap dominant day in my training plan.

My conditioning workout on Monday was hell. on. earth. apparently there's no air conditioning at the gym. Let me hit you with that again. NO A/C. IT'S JUNE. AND IT'S HOT. I thought I was going to DIE before I was done. If someone had been watching me on the elliptical, you would have known that I was throwing a mini-tantrum. I wanted offffffffffff that machine but I didn't want to do anything else, I just wanted to be done. 20 minutes is a long ass time when you're already pouring buckets of sweat in a gym that rivals bikram yoga heat.

Also because my life is like one big unintentional science experiment, I think now anytime I eat salt on my food I have THE WORST calf cramps at night. Like I legit have to get out of my bed and stand to make them stop. I'm fairly sure my muscles were going to contract so hard they were going to snap my leg.

Anyways, this is my life so far. Oh and I've put my dentist appointment off for almost 2 months, so I have to go Friday :( make sure ya'll are laughing on the inside around 8 o'clock in the effin morning. Ughhhhhhh. If anyone wants to partner up to workout let me knowww. I would love to have some cardio company at least! :)