Remixes and rewrites.

I made up a new version of "girl on fire" by Alicia Keyes. It's called MY LEGS ARE GONNA FALL OFF. Catchy, no? 

I'm about to write this next paragraph with all the love a girl can have for the trainer who helped her lose 100 pounds ... but I'm gonna start referring to Darin Starr as Judas. I hired Kevin to help me with conditioning/cardio annnnnd leg day. Well, that all sounds great in theory, I was all aboard the no slacking off boat...until it comes time to actually not slack off and do what I need to. I got my weekly plan update from Benedict Arnold himself, and what was missing? A leg workout. Then he says in the summary, "what could be going on there" WE BOTH KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. We. both. know. Which btw is a great song by Gavin Degraw and Colbie Calliet if anyone needs to update their playlist. Holy. Hell. Judas told Kevin to quote "trash my legs" and trash we did. So I haven't decided who I blame more, though I am down 1.5 pounds so obviously something is working. Though. My legs are toast. Goblet squats, walking lunges, step ups, offset Romanians, which Kevin called "thirsty birds" or something that I literally was like WTF. I don't understand. Then when he showed me I understood. We also did push ups (fuck my liiiife), kettlebell swings, rowing machine, TRX rows and wallballs. During which I had a straight up asthma attack and felt like I was breathing through a straw. After I literally told Kevin last week "it's very well controlled." I mean, it was until today. I just really hate inhalers.  Post workout my head was tingling and I felt SO SHAKY. Like straight up jello legs so I laid down in the back of my car for a few minutes. Thankfully I had a pillow. Idk why, I'm not in 7th grade going to sleepovers. And bless his heart, Kevin tried to talk to me but I can't even remember my own name when I'm working out like that, so much less what book I'm reading. He also noted that I was kinda guarding my answers when he asked questions and that even when my heart rate hit 181, I didn't look like it. My poker face made a reappearance. I just make faces when I'm sure no one is looking. 

This week was really, really bad. Which is weird because the last three were super fucking great. One bad choice leads to another and one gallon missed leads to another and whew. when my work schedule is inconsistant, I get inconsistant. #excuses. I know. I just listened to this really great seminar about living intentionally. Like, legit, you don't pick up the 15s instead of the 10s for a week and wake up looking like Dana Lin Bailey. That shit takes years (so I've heard). You intentionally try to get better, eat better, run better, sleep better, BE better. So I'm chalking this one up as a loss and moving on. 

You know what's weird though? Other than me? I notice myself more. Like sitting in front of a mirror doesn't automatically mean I avert my eyes to anywhere but my reflection. I actually sat and stared at myself for a while today. I just can't believe how different I look. Some days I'm like HOT DAMN You look good and other days I feel like a whale. But I'm noticing those days are less and less which is nice. It's weird though but people act like they are impressed with me. Even a couple times kevin was like "wow", especially after I showed him my update with Darin. It just surprises me how people react sometimes. I'm not anything special, I'm just Vanessa. Honestly. I'm a foul mouthed 24 year old who decided enough was enough, ya know? I got a chance to start over (see what I did there?) and decided to rewrite my story. 

This week was kinda strange too because I had legit like 6 people message me on Facebook asking how I lost weight. I don't understand the shock and awe when I say "I eat better than I used to and exercise." It's like everyone wants the secret. But there isn't one. You just have to do what works for you. Zumba, crossfit, weights, personal training, running, biking, etc. Pick whatever and do what you can and then progressively get better. I started out at a 3 minute PR on the stairmill. Now my current PR is 17 minutes. Is it 45? No. Will it ever be? If I decide I want it to be, yes. Some people say its princess status to have 2 trainers. Well guess what. I am the long lost princess of the curly hair kingdom and I do what I want and it helps me, and it makes me happy. And being happy is the secret to making it work. If I was miserable every time I worked out or did cardio, I would quit in a heart beat. But sans leg massacres like today which honestly was SO freakin hard but I wasn't ready to cry, and the occasional bad day, this shit makes me so happy. I love what I'm doing. So there. 

Anyways. I'm afraid to go to sleep because tomorrow is gonna be insanely hard as far as minor tasks, such as walking, go. I guess that just means my legs are growing. Ugh. Killer legs come from killer leg workouts. So. With that, I'm off to finish the last 3 episodes of white collar that I missed.