back in business.

annnnnnd I'm back.

first things first. I AM SO SORE. My legs and side abs feel like they're gonna FALL OFF. Kevin had me doing these weird as shit rep sequences that were like, 1 squat, 1 farmers carry, 1 squat, 1 farmers carry, 3 squats, one carry, and then I think it was 5, 8, 13 and 21 squats and 1 farmers carry between each one. To be honest, I have no idea because I really can't count. and that's not a joke. It's like a disability. When I start working out I lose all of the severely limited math skillz I ever had. It's a mess, that's for sure. Whatever we did, it worked. and then Tuesday when the Arctic blast or whatever the hell that was happened (which, it should be renamed because I in fact did not have a blast) I did an at-home workout and had an asthma attack a la Darin Starr. It was a butt ton of squats and burpees and step back lunges and my heat came on in the middle of this and I DIED. I ended up hanging out of my window gasping for air because, get this. My car had to be left in the parking lot at work because of the white shit that was falling from the sky. My inhaler was in my gym bag. which was in my car. not at my house. I also haven't done a plank or a straight leg raise in a coons age, so my abs are feeling it. I was shaking like a newborn deer trying to walk. Not like Bambi though cause she got killed I think. But I'm pretty sure she was in the road. I didn't actually watch that movie so I can't be sure. Anyways today was chest and shoulders (knees and toes, knees and toes...you sang that, just like I did. oh you didn't because it's not the right words to song? WELL IT IS NOW.) and some cardio. I almost died.

I have however, been eating pretty much 90% on point. TOOT TOOT. Betcha didn't think you'd see that two blog posts in a row. Darin increased my calories/protein/carbs, but here's the real problem and where you guys get a look in to my crazy little mind. I haven't actually used the extra yet. I've stuck to roughly 1600 calories a day. I'm hungry, yes, but 1780 calories a day is a lot and I'm basically petrified I'm going to gain weight. Because I'm working so damn hard to lose it, this just seems like the opposite of what I should be doing. I just worry. IT'S WHAT I DO YA'LL. I worry about all the things.

in other news. I got some new protein. Optimum nutrition cookies and cream and it's my  jam. It tastes really sweet, which is precisely what I wanted. I've been drinking 2-3 shakes a day TAKE YOUR JUDGING FACES OFF, I get tired of chewing real food sometimes. That's real life lazy life problems. One of them is usually post workout, and I've been having a shake and a 100 calories pack of vanilla roasted almonds for breakfast. Which, let me tell you about those. it's a damn good thing they're in a 100 calorie pack and I only put 1 in my refrigerator purse or else I would eat the whole box. THEY'RE SO GOOD. I also have sad news. rice cakes made it to the gag list. The gag list is a list of foods I've gagged on and pretty much can never eat again. I think the texture got to me. Hot dogs, blueberries, green beans and rice cakes are at the top of that list. I fucking hate green beans just so we're clear.

and if you ever have a bad day, go to brother wolf and pet the dogs. seriously. I did that today. It's been a rough week for me to say the least, with all the stuff going on at work and the stress of being an adult and being crazy with my food and whew. being an adult is hard stuff. I want a dog, so I decided to go in brother wolf and OH MY GOD, I spent literally like an hour just going from cage to cage and petting them (but putting hand sanitizer on between each one because of kennel cough. the struggle was real.) I found this beagle named "danny", which, if I get him his name will be Zeus, and I seriously sat in his kennel with him for probably 30 minutes. He was the sweetest thing in the whole world. Then I played with a pit bull and she was absolutely precious. I was pretty much like HUG ALL THE DOGS.

this is my life. I weighed myself, and I lost 8 pounds in 10 days. Prettttttty sure the majority of that was water because I've been drinking a gallon a day. Except today. oooooooooops. But I'll just drink some before bed and hope for the best tomorrow haha. I suck sometimes. but I'm human and I'm trying. I just need a little help from my friends sometimes. with that, I'm signing off. go to brother wolf yall, and just TRY not to squeal with delight when you get licked in the face. it's impossible. I'll probably have kennel cough in the morning. Can humans even get that? whatever. It was worth it.