ha.
if only.
my blogging schedule is kinda like a game of where's waldo! except more like where is Vanessa and her less than informational weekly newsletter filled with bitching and sass?! you never know when it's gonna pop up. SURPRISE. First Sunday blog in quite some time.
I suck. at all of this. at cardio, lifting, metcon'ing, eating good, eating bad, eating at all, water intake. I just can't seem to get it together. Granted my life has taken a few unexpected turns, everything has worked out so far but damn. I would love to have a week where I write a blog post and I'm like yall I did everything this week and I did fucking amazing. But what kind of blog would this be if I actually did what I said I was going to do?
I am the queen of excuses, that's about the only thing I've been the queen of lately. that and bitching. what? me? I know right. I went to the gym on Monday and lifted a little, on Tuesday I ran a mile for cardio, then Wednesday-today I've not done much other than run my mouth. I've worked over time this week, and trying to unpack(still!), work, and deal with life, well. shit happens. So I'm calling (for the 482nd time...this year) Monday a re-do of sorts. If NOTHING ELSE, I will get my big ass to the gym every day for SOMETHING for at least 30 minutes. I WILL get my 156 ounces of water in, and I WILL be thankful for the opportunities I've been given. or, I WILL BE ballooning back up to my starting weight and I promised myself I would never seen a certain weight on the scale again and it's a very reasonable limit I set. I know, the scale isn't everything. But when you're trying to lose an ungodly amount of weight, it kind of is. It's how I validate what I'm doing is working, even though that shouldn't be the case. I get obsessive over numbers, quick. My macros, calorie burn, weight, etc. I need to get off the OMGIFIDONTBURN900CALORIESINAWORKOUTIMAFAILURE thought process. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back for a shitty workout but anything is better than nothing, plus the longer I stay out of the gym because "30 minutes isn't worth it" (SINCE WHEN) the harder it is to go back and the more sore I'll be the next day. Though, I think I'm going to be a little uncomfortable tomorrow. I went to the rush's R30 class, it's like an interval spin class and I didn't hate it, at all. I think if I made that my Sunday cardio, that would be enough for me to keep interested but not burn out on it like I do everything else. It was rough, but the last spin class I went to I was probably 50 pounds heavier and it was hell on earth. So progress is progress! Then after that I cooked up some intervals. 20 seconds rope slams, 12 step ups/leg, 10 burpees x 4 rounds. all in all it was like a 45 minute workout including spin and right at 480 calories. I also did some leg extensions, and hit 160 for 6 reps. WHAT. I remember when 50 at the YWCA was enough to make me sore as hell. I'm a slow learner sometimes, but I know that post workout you need protein and carbs. So I had a shake, and then the bananas at my house are rotten (not really rotten, more like just ripe) and I gagged because the texture was disgusting so then I gagged through a cup of natural no sugar added applesauce. Then I remembered I bought 3 cans of pineapple chunks today and I LOVE pineapple. whoooooooops.
speaking of whoooooooops. for probably months, Darin has said AM cardio would be a good idea and I am not a morning person. Once I actually get up, I'm fine...but getting up is the problem. I like to lay in my bed for a while and then well, next thing I know it's time for me to get ready for work and no cardio has been done. Though Wednesday I did knock out some morning cardio and I felt more awake throughout the day and I was like WHAT NEW MYSTERY IS THIS. I wasn't nearly as tired....but what did I do Thursday? no AM cardio. I just hate waking up, sleeping is one of my FAVORITE activities. My bed is so comfy, and I like to lay here and watch Netflix on my laptop. Livin the good life. This week my goal is 3-4 mornings. I have a treadmill (old and rickety it may be) that I can walk on. It's maybe 10 steps from my bed. How lazy am I? tune in to my instagram next week and find out.
anyways, I know this isn't the sass and snark you all seem to love, but this is where I'm at. I feel like a huge massive narwhal sized failure. But it's a bump in the road, not the end of it. I just need a little help, that's all. Growing up is hard. They never tell you about all the shit you have to deal with, and how hard it is to go from having your parents and step-parents doing everything for you, cooking dinner, fixing cars, giving directions, building stuff, to just being like OKAY GO. Do I even adult? no. god no. Now here I am, burning food left and right, finding out just how expensive groceries are, getting behind on laundry, snoozing my alarms, trying to figure out how to survive on my own AND lose another ungodly amount of weight. I signed up for all of this, but I had no idea how much I was getting myself in to.
life. but it's been such an adventure so far. Rebecca and I living together should really be a t.v. show...or at least a youtube series. Like when neither of us knows how to cook chicken correctly, how to empty the can thing on the vaccum cleaner or how to hang pictures. Heaven help us all.
thanks for being part of my life here, ya'll. It's "just a blog" but it's one of my favorite things. Who knew so many people would like my online diary so much? I was gonna say I feel kinda like Anne Frank but um, yeah. no. I'm gonna stop myself there.
till next week mi amigos!
No comments:
Post a Comment