I think in over my head was a bit of an understatement today. But you know what? it was a really, really good day. Even if I did cry a little. Let me preface this by saying that I cry about everything, especially when I get nervous. Right before I lifted, I got a little teary because I was nervous and anxious as shit. I knew I was about to get in front of everyone and didn't need to look like a basket case so I cut the tears. You gotta grow up sometime. I opened at 30 kilos and then hit 32 or 33, I honestly don't know and I think it may be better that way, and 34 then got called back for a 4th attempt at 35 and made it! I missed 34 absolutely no less than 10 times last week! so imagine my surprise when I made it and then with more weight. I credit the unfiltered adrenaline and anxiety coursing through my veins. Oh, and donuts. I had a bit of sugar in my veins too.
You know what's kind of weird? to think about how much has actually changed over the last 2 years and how it all kind of came together to put me where I am right now. I've lost my brother, changed jobs, lost and gained weight, got my own apartment, wanted to be a body builder, found and loved Olympic lifting in a gym full of people who are some of the smartest, down to earth, fun loving people I've ever had the luck of meeting. The majority of the changes started with the decision to say "I just want to lose weight." ... started from the bottom now we here. and I kinda like it.
I know that some people compete because they want to be the best and they want to win and be awesome. You don't have to win to be awesome. You just have to try, and that's what I did. I tried really hard to not worry about how fat I must look compared to everyone else and how hard 37 kilos was for me to clean and jerk when other people warmed up with more than that. I tried hard to remember to lock out with authority when I snatched and keep my elbows up when I clean. So did I do awesome at the meet? depends on who you ask. If you were to ask me, I would say yes.
You know what's kind of weird? to think about how much has actually changed over the last 2 years and how it all kind of came together to put me where I am right now. I've lost my brother, changed jobs, lost and gained weight, got my own apartment, wanted to be a body builder, found and loved Olympic lifting in a gym full of people who are some of the smartest, down to earth, fun loving people I've ever had the luck of meeting. The majority of the changes started with the decision to say "I just want to lose weight." ... started from the bottom now we here. and I kinda like it.
I know that some people compete because they want to be the best and they want to win and be awesome. You don't have to win to be awesome. You just have to try, and that's what I did. I tried really hard to not worry about how fat I must look compared to everyone else and how hard 37 kilos was for me to clean and jerk when other people warmed up with more than that. I tried hard to remember to lock out with authority when I snatched and keep my elbows up when I clean. So did I do awesome at the meet? depends on who you ask. If you were to ask me, I would say yes.
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