change, goals and dreams.

you know that thing that you were made for?

the thing that makes you want to stop everything that you're doing right now and spend the rest of your life committed to do this thing?

I've found mine.

I will change the world or die trying. Homelessness will only be taught in history class, it won't be something that is a sad reality for people. Children won't know what it's like to be hungry.

I know that I'm only 25, and just a curly headed, fast talkin, trying to survive being a grown up, grown up. I spend my 40 hours at the business office filing insurance and trying to get my CPC cert. In reality, that's not what I want. What I want is to be outside helping people. I want to be on the street handing out blankets and food and hugs. I want to be giving people hope and connecting them with resources that already exist. I want to be a resource. I want so badly to have a place in the community where people can come and be safe. They won't be worried about where they're going to sleep or if they're going to be able to find food. Moms and Dads wont sit up all night worrying about how they're going to provide for their kids and how to tell them that Santa may not find them this year.

I'm not going to be a resource that exists at Thanksgiving and Christmas. There are too many 2 times a year resources, and frankly, to hell with that. It's wonderful that people want to help but there are 363 other days in a year that people still need things.

I am beyond grateful for the things that I have, and I take them for granted every. single. day. I complained via text message about my coffee at starbucks not having enough room for me to put more almond milk in it. I complained via my iphone 6, from my new car, about the over priced coffee I bought that I was given too much of, so I couldn't put more liquid in the cup. I have a home, a car, a family who loves me (too much, even), a jacket, a phone, I have everything I could ever need and then some. I have more than enough food, I even complain about not having enough room in my cabinets. While people are sitting on the street and literally have no idea where their next meal will come from.

Moving on from the homelessness rambling, there's been a lot of conversations about weight and weight classes and scales and donuts at the gym. It's no secret that I'm trying to lose more weight and now I'm actually taking a step to continue making that happen. It's kind of weird that with women's weightlifting, the weight classes end at 75, and then there's 75+, it doesn't matter if you're 76 or 176 kilos, you're still a 75+, but I still want to get smaller. Which is going to happen, especially since this is Negative Kilo November, ya'll. I will win.

Last January, I said my goals were something like lose 80lbs, become a personal trainer/zumba instructor, and make new friends. which. LOL no to the 80lbs and trainer...but making new friends did happen. So I started thinking about what I really wanted to do. I actually put on a singlet (which really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be) and competed. So now what? By the end of December I'd like to snatch and clean and jerk 40 kilos each. Right now 35 is my PR on snatch and 38 on clean and jerk. I can clean 40, but not jerk it. I also want to do a few more meets next year. I'm going to finish and pass my CPC exam by May (or lose like 1900 dollars between the class and exam) and I'm going to get my homelessness project up and started. My dream with that is to eventually take it to Charlotte, Raleigh, to the coast and eventually to other states. I'm having a volunteer meeting/brain storming sesh on November 23 at 3pm at Atlanta Bread on Merrimon. They have really good cookies and wifi, so I feel like it was a good place to set up the initial meeting. All are welcome, even if you just have an idea/suggestion for me. The only rule is that you can't be an asshole. That's all I ask.

anyways, I really have rambled enough and my computer is incessantly playing "party people" by Florida Georgia Line, and while I love them this is not their best song and I can't make it stop. So I'm going to either destroy my laptop or put it somewhere so the battery can die and I can reboot and see if it's still possessed in the morning.