opening doors.

Opening the door is sometimes a really hard thing to do. 

I know what you're probably thinking, uh for who? toddlers maybe, but not adults.

I don't really mean physically opening doors, I mean I've had a few workouts that made opening doors hard but that's not what I'm getting at. I'm saying that all the times I've been scared to open the door, the best things have happened when I walked inside.

I was working as a telemetry monitor and health unit coordinator in the cardiac unit. I disliked my job because I dislike high stress situations. I dislike 12 hour shifts and having to sleep at the hospital when it's snowing. I loved my coworkers, but not my work. I applied on a whim to a medical billing job in the emergency room, and I considered not going to the interview because it was only part time. If I hadn't, I would have missed out on one of the best jobs I've ever had. I had coworkers who were legitimately like family and I thoroughly enjoyed my work. I moved from less than part time, to part time to full time and at the end of time my time in the ER, I had the most seniority in the group. Things change like always, and it wasn't in the cards for me to stay but I can say that going to that interview was one of my best choices thus far . 

The night before I started working with Darin, I was a mess. I didn't know what was going to happen. If he was going to yell at me Biggest Loser style while I threw up after running on the treadmill for an hour or if he was going to tell me that he couldn't help me. I was so nervous, I threw up in the parking lot at work before I drove to the gym. I was THAT anxious. You know what though? there was no yelling, there was nothing but a tall dude who loved squats and what he did for a living there waiting on me. I worked with Darin in person for 11 months. I lost over 80 pounds during that time and then I worked with him online for almost another year. Walking in the door to One on One Health and Fitness was one of the best things I've ever done. I learned how to exercise, how to move, how to cut calories in healthy ways and I learned that I could do more than I ever thought possible. I survived several boot camps (I say that like they were military boot camps and not voluntary) and had a lot of fun. If I hadn't had the courage to walk in the door at my heaviest weight, I don't know where I would be right now, I just know it wouldn't be half as good as where I am now. 

I considered not even walking in to Asheville Strength. I knew that whoever these people were, they were probably some bad ass lifters who followed strict paleo diets and wouldn't like me because I was overweight. I wouldn't fit in, and I certainly would never be able to do what they did. You know what? I found a group of the some of the smartest, strongest, funniest and most supportive people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I watch them lift at competitions with the same excitement I have before I lift.  To think that I never would have gotten the medal I'm so proud of, and I certainly wouldn't have met these people or found a sport that I enjoy so much makes me sad.. All because I was too scared of what might happen. 

I could sum this whole blog up in a few words. I'm glad I opened the door.