Infectious.

let's talk, shall we?

 

I know, I know. I'm a day late and a dollar short. story of my damn life. speaking of a dollar short... I'm about however much 31.99 x 8 is short. I tried to order some corfetti cake batter protein from cellucor and join Kylethegirls's march challenge, and well it kept saying "error, please try again" WELL AT THE DIRECTION OF THE WEBSITE, I did. and I finally had to use my credit card, and then I check my bank account 2 hours later and imagine my surprise when I'm like 250+ dollars down. I died a little. Then threw a fit. It'll be 12 business days before I get my money back. Oh, it took you mother fuckers 12 seconds to take it. All I wanted was some cake batter protein because I'm gagging like hell on the optimum nutrition cookies and cream now. It has an artificial sweetener taste and the cookie bits in it are disgusting. Yes, I am the weirdo who chews them up. well...tried chewing them. They don't taste like oreos, let's just clear that up right now. Ugh. Then I remembered that my car insurance drafting today too. It's just been a shit show today.

 

on top of that, I have strep and it's not clearing up. In fact it's getting worse. My throat and lymph nodes are SO SWOLLEN. It hurts to eat, and nothing tastes good which let's be clear, not a whole lot of stuff tasted good to me to begin with. the struggle is so real right now. I gagged on water today, too. Which, what the hell? who gags on water?! IT DOESN'T HAVE A TASTE. I tried to tell my noggin that today but it happened like twice. If you haven't had strep in a while, just swallow a kitchen knife, throw it back up, repeat that a couple times and you'll have an idea of how I feel. it blows harder than a two dollar whore on nickel night. too far? welcome to my blog. clearly you're new here. oh and I have a teeeeny tiny tear in my right rotator cuff. My orthopedist at blue ridge recommended a PT eval and gave me a cortisone shot and some medicine. I'm sick of those shots. and let's be clear, I'd rather do pretty much anything than go to that PT eval. I seriously hate people I don't know touching me. It makes me so damn nervous. He didn't seem super concerned about it and it doesn't bother me unless I sleep on it wrong. Sooo crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. 

 

Everything I own is sore as hell too. My forearms hurt so bad. Apparently dead lifting can and will do that to you. My hands have been useless today. Like typing this blog is rough. I got my dead lifting up to I think 150. a 45 and a 10 on each side. I'm super bad at simple math if you haven't figured that out by now. again. clearly you're new here. I can barely count to 10 most days. But anyways, it was super heavy and I had to keep getting a better grip every rep. Which sucked and took a hot minute longer than I would like and I kept making a lot of noise and the cute little fit coaches at the desk drinking a mountain dew (YEAH I SAW YOU) kept looking over at me like wtf is she doing. making gainz. that's what.  ANYWHO, at mostly my request, Darin switched my workouts over to total body annihilations. yeahhhhh. should have thought about that before I made that little request. but, I am burning a metric fuck ton of calories on the daily. One of my workouts has 200 lunges and right around 150ish squats. I don't know what I did to Darin except bring a little drama in to his life. I mean seriously WHY DO YOU HATE ME. I have lunges in every. single. workout. Though I will say that I have seen some noticeable improvements in the shape of my legs. less fat, more muskels. maybe it's just me and I'm delusional but whatever it takes, you know? that and post workout gummy worms. 5 of them is a serving. 5 worms. WHO ONLY EATS 5. I mean, I do, because the minute I get home I have to portion them out because otherwise the whole bag will be sleeping with the fishes. see what I did there? and by sleeping with the fishes I mean sleeping with all the protein in my belly. and by sleeping I mean digesting. I'll stop there. Though if I don't get on my cardio game, I'm going to be sleeping with the fishes fo' real. Steady state is the fucking worst ever. It's easy, but I get so bored. I can't read because I'm moving, I get bored with music pretty quick, people don't like it when you stare, texting is impossible and I can't really talk. Sooooo. It's pretty much like I'm forced to be alone and suffer. I think I've gotten MAYBE 2 hours done this week. and I work alll weekend and I'm sick as shit. I was out of work on Wednesday and Thursday. I went to the gym on Thursday because I thought I felt better. Got 3/4 of the way through my workout and that was it. It was like I hit a brick wall. I thought workout out was supposed to make you feel better and I always heard from the neck-down, stay away from the gym. Neck-up, you're good to go. Except I was good to go lay down after and sleep for a few hours. I guess part of it had to do with me not eating...er, anything really beforehand. again, imagine swallowing a kitchen knife. I'm considering laying off the gym and not infecting other unsuspecting gym patrons contagion style (idk what that means I haven't seen the movie) even though I'm fairly sure I'm not contagious. I just feel like hammered shit. My sweet friend Nicole Oz offered to help me cut whatever is left in my throat out. She's very crafty. And sassy. That's why we get along so well.  

 

food is going well other than right this moment. It's so much easier when you can make whatever you want fit in your macros. Krissy Mae Cagney's new ebook on flexible dieting is the shit. I love Krissy, and her books makes so much damn sense. read it if you haven't.

 

anyways, with that, this installment of for the love of god this is still happening is over. tune in next week to see what else I can find to bitch about. spoiler alert, this is the tip of the iceberg.