rants and raves

this may be full of rants. so just kick back and relax and hope you're not part of my wrath.

so, first of all, can we all just agree that pinterest is not the place to be finding workouts? SERIOUSLY. I am so sick of signing in to look at apartment decorating ideas or funny memes to see "BURN 1000 CALORIES WORKOUT"... okay first of all, I did an HOUR, 60 long minutes of cardio one day and only burned 725. and I weigh as much as a small elephant. So you, miss I might weigh 130 pounds on a fat day doing 25 jumping jacks aren't going to burn 1000 calories in less than 3 hours. And those "get flat abs" workouts. You can do sit ups until the cows/I come home, but guess what. still not there if your body fat percentage isn't low enough and news flash, you can't spot train. You can't be like oh I want abs and do sit ups 400 times a day and see them in a week. You lose from everywhere, and genetics determines a lot of it. So for the love of all that is good and holy just CAN YOU STOP? like can we not right now?! bodybuilding.com has some bangin workout plans. Find one there. where people generally have some sense and aren't 14 year old girls writing "workouts" and getting 1000 repins a minute. and for the record, let's stay off the diets we find on pinterest too. the "army" diet or something like that where you eat saltines and strawberries for breakfast, first of all that is disgusting and second of all, no. why? what is the point of that? like what magical properties do white crackers with an abundance of salt have? the ability to make you hypertensive at the age of 13? I fail to see the weight loss properties of this diet. Clearly I should be the boss of pinterest.

I also can't deal with people on instagram commenting on other people's stuff being rude. like, commenting isn't mandatory so why the fuck are you trolling trying to start arguments? get a life. and speaking of get a life, if ONE. MORE. beachbody coach comments on one of my transformation Tuesday pics being like "great! i'm in a fun inspiration great grand amazing awesome fitness group on facebook, add me so you can join!" i'm going to lose what little mind I do have. First of all, do any of the 200 hashtags I just used have anything to do with p90x, insanity, turbo fire, shakeology or any of the above? NO. Do I say in my about me, that's what I do? no. so stop copy and pasting insincere comments on my damn pictures asking me to buy shit from you. you're welcome to fuck off.

now that we're past that, this week was rough. Much like hurricane Vanessa hit Asheville, hurricane Darin hit my plan. Though I kind of asked for that. I asked for a meal plan, and well. damn. that was a bit harder than I expected. Monday was a shit show to say the least. there was a fire 3 houses up from mine, and I was supposed to get up and do fasted cardio, the morning after the time change. Then when all that sucked, I tried to choke down some egg beaters/not real eggs/the ones that literally look like snot cooking in your pan/ with some spinach, onions and tomatoes. Lets just say by the time I gagged down some plain greek yogurt I was over it. So this week was a combination of IIFYM with a day of weight watchers thrown in. Though Darin did werk some magic and changed some stuff this week so it looks more manageable. We'll see how all this goes this week when I try again.

I'm still studying to get my ACSM trainer cert, and let's be clear. Some of that stuff is nonsense, one of the paragraphs I read in the consult chapter was about not encouraging clients to quit their jobs so they can work out. who the hell would ever be like I'm gonna quit my job so I have more time to exercise?! and who would tell them to do that?! well, that one girl who won the biggest loser goes to the gym 4 times a day (allegedly)...which, let's also just agree that the show isn't called "the healthiest looking loser", its the biggest loser. She won. I can also say I hate Jillian Michaels training style. I don't respond well to being yelled at and bitched at constantly when I work out. I also don't work out 8 hours a day and I would kill myself if I had to listen to her yell for 8 hours. Also, vomiting isn't necessarily a sign that you're doing something right. They should call the show "inducing bulimia on morbidly obese people via exercise" not as catchy, no? I used to think I wanted to be on that show. Then I read about what it's like and said hellll no. Then found Darin who thankfully was nothing like Jillian Michaels. Though that's absolutely what I expected. Anyway, the point is, one fine day I'll be better than Jillian Michaels at all this. I won't yell, no one has to do push ups and no one will vomit on the daily when they work with me.

There are days I feel like giving up and days I feel like I can conquer the world and deadlift 200 pounds. Those days I take advantage of and stick around and do some extra stuff, like cardio and leg extensions. On the days I don't feel so good, well, I do the best I can. I haven't lost any weight consistently since before my brosef died, but that's life. I miss him more than I could ever imagine, but given the chance I wouldn't bring him back if I could. He was really proud of me for losing all this weight, so I need to get my shit together again and make him proud from wherever he's watching. So, let's see where this week goes. I'll report back next week per my usual.

oh, and even after a few bad days, I was trying to figure out if I could stand wearing my new heels to work all day and a little baby quad came out to play. Let's not judge the paleness or babyness (see what i did there?) of said muscle. but loooooooooooook! :)

 

I may or may not have stared for a while/few hours. Clearly I'm not Dana Lin Bailey but it's okay to be happy with the progress...I know what my legs looked like 6 months ago. and it wasn't posted on this blog. progress is progress!

 

 

also this is my 159th blog. Who the hell would have thought this would have lasted this long? not me. I hope this is still entertaining. It is for me. and clearly that's what matters. ha!