Merry Christmas ya'll. Santa/mom was excellent to me this year and brought me a hot pink 6 pack bag and the urban decay naked 3 pallet. And all God's children say amen, I can finally pack my lunch efficiently and wear eye shadow that doesn't crease like a mofo in 3 hours at the same time. #hotmess.
I was thinking of starting to write reviews on stuff I use on the daily. I mean, I wish I had someone like me to tell me what they thought of stuff BEFORE they buy it. Because God knows I rarely use things for their intended purpose or hold back on what I think something tastes like. Like today I bought some Dymatize cinnamon bun protein (2 pounds for 23 dollars is a pretty good deal) and it is SO freakin good. I can and likely will drink it for thirst. It mixes a hell of a lot better than the gaspari nutrition PB cookie dough flavor I have. The only thing I hate about buying protein powder is that you're kind of committed to the flavor once you buy it. I'm not great with commitment if we haven't figured that out yet.
It wouldn't be a real blog without a rant, yeah? well can I just say that I'm a fan of knowing what you're talking about (for the most part) and understanding that everyone can't follow the same diet plan and get the same results? this girl I follow on instagram who has no nothing (and I know that's a like a double negitive but shut your traps) is charging like 30$ a pop for a 1300 calorie a day "meal plan".....I'm sorry, what? first of all, just no. second of all, how was any of this determined? did you just pick 1300 calories out of a stinkin slot machine? what if someone has diabetes? or kidney problems? I just don't understand why anyone would be like this is a GREAT idea, this girl I don't even know from Adam who has no official/legit education is gonna give me a copy of a 1300 calorie diet she found off the google for 30 dollars and I'm going to look like Miley Cyrus in a month. clearly people love wasting time, money and effort. I'm just not down with that get down. I know a good deal when I see one (see the protein powder in my kitchen) and I know a not so good deal when I see it too. I'm sly like that.
anywho.
when your trainer texts you and says "please bring your inhaler", that's a sure sign that you're likely going to die.
as always though, I'm the exception not the rule. I didn't die but I wasn't sure I was going to blow groceries all over the rower. What did we do? to "warm up" we (and by we I mean I) did a butt ton of walking lunges forwards, then backwards, then a bunch of hip thrusts, then repeat that once more. Then...drum roll pleaseee.....fight gone bad. For those of you who may not know, that's a crossfit benchmark WOD. It's a 5 minute AMRAP (as may reps as possible), you have 5 stations. Thrusters, sumo deadlift high pull, box jumps, push press and rowing for calories. The clock starts, and doesn't stop until 5 minutes are up...meaning the transition time also counts. After the first round I was kinda like um wow. I can't decide if this is fun or I'm just retarded. Then after the second round I thought, I'm going to die in this gym and then Kevin is gonna have to call my mom. unlucky for him. Then after the third round, after he called time when I was rowing, I put my head in my hands because I wasn't sure I was going to vomit everything I've ever eaten up. Then after that, we did more lunges. MORE LUNGES. I don't hate them though, it's just A LOT of work. Which obviously is the point but I digress.
The next morning I felt like I had been hit by a bus, revived, then said bus has put it in reverse and ran over me again.
I've been somewhat okay with food this week surprisingly. I've been playing a game of "make it fit your macros" instead of "If it fits your macros"...MIFYM...it's what you do when you don't get paid for another week and need to eat leftovers but you just bought krissy mae cagney's ebook on meal prep for $16 and got a new six pack bag you can't put chicken mcnugs in it otherwise you'll get crucified by the food police. it's a delicate situation. So I just weighed out some ham, mashed potatoes and 2 deviled eggs and hoped for the best. I mean while it may not be an ideal situation, it's much better than anything I could get elsewhere and it's not the (delicious) chemical shit storm that is McDonalds. Plus if it at the end of the day everything adds up to what it should, I'm okay with that.
Today was back/hammies/biceps. Bent over barbell rows are my new favorite thing, those and back squats. I felt like this man next to me was staring, but I couldn't figure out how to get the weights off the bar easily and it was more of a workout than the squats were. Eh. I'll live. One thing about going to a large chain gym is while you see people on the regular, you don't have to communicate with them and there are (usually) just enough people for me to feel anonymous yet not overcrowded. also another delicate situation.
I'll tell you what I'm about sick of; this cold as shit weather. I live in a frozen hell. I hate going outside and seeing my breath and getting so cold I feel like I'm going die of hypothermia before I get to my car, I'd much rather sweat my face off in July by the pool. I need to move somewhere the weather is a constant 70-90 degrees, absolutely no natural disasters, up to and including sink holes, tornados, hurricanes, massive wildfires, mudslides or anything of the like, no massive amounts of snow, and minimal rain. If anyone knows where that is, please let me know.
I'm writing out 20 goals for next year. I'm not going to call them new years resolutions, because I have January goals and a year is a long time/huge amount of time. I know one of my long term goals is dropping 90 more pounds this year-ish. whaaat? yeah it's called I have work to do and need to stop being lazy sometimes. I would also like to be able to squat more than the bar + 10s on each side and don't ask me how much that is because I don't know. My brain is not functional at the moment, move on.
Anyways, shoulders and conditioning and a butt ton of cardio this weekend. I'm so excited. #saidnooneever. get your cardio done during the week when you're supposed to and this wouldn't be a problem #saiddarin. This blog is like the biggest bipolar coaster ever, but it's how things are going for me at the moment. I know it's a mess, but writing is really easy for me and it helps keep me focused sometimes. And all this mess just spews out like hot lava out of a volcano. I'm glad I decided to keep it around, it helps me and you guys get a laugh. win-win.
With that, I'm out. Hope ya'll had a Merry Christmas and kwanza and hannuakah and all the other holidays that may or may not be celebrated during this time of year. I just hope you guys were happy, that's all.
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